So took it to a friend of mines shop who is building my rx7 race car and he has access to the ALLDATA service information and according to the diagrams the ADD relay is on the passenger side, to the right of the glovebox and roughly inline with the glovebox lever to open it. Hopefully this gives you somewhat of a mental picture as to where we were looking for this #@$%ing relay.
Well, it's NOT there. If you take a look at the attached picture you'll see the ADD relay is circled/boxed in red and is located behind the passenger side kick panel. In fact if you look closely its actually mounted on the firewall.
The way it was actually found was by looking at the electrical diagrams and looking for the 6 wire colour comibinations coming out of anything that looked like a relay
So, after all that it wasn't the ADD relay
What was causing the problem is the wire connection between the ball switch on the transfer case and the ADD relay. The people we had bought the car from 4 months ago had replaced the clutch and I guess when they dropped the tranny they tore a wire out of each end of the plug connector that you disconnect in order to drop the transfercase/tranny. Cut the switch switch completely and spliced in a straight thru connection. This was done this way primarily due to very limited space up under the car where the plug connector/broken wire was located.
Anyways, enough spewing -- hopefully this will help someone else out down the road.
Charles