Originally Posted by BlackWorksInc

I'm not entirely sure how to start this thread, this is one of many attempts to actually write up a thread like this (the last step of submitting it seems to prove the most difficult part.) Pretty much no one on this forum save for a couple of people who briefly spoke with me on a trail ride or meet, know me beyond my technical posts and attempts to help members with their vehicles. I'm not entirely sure how much I feel comfortable divulging, so here goes...

I have Severe Clinical Depression and Asperger's Syndrome.

I'm not a stranger to adversity, its been the staple of my life and it will continue to be until I die. I've always managed to somehow survive through most anything, but these past couple of years have hit me harder than most and have proven subsequently more difficult to recover from. It doesn't help that I've basically been beaten down and continued to be kicked while I'm down these past couple of years, for the most part I've just basically been more or less stagnant. I find it more and more difficult to find motivation in anything, honestly I genuinely feel like I have little will to continue living. Not to say I'm suicidal, but I just don't feel like I have the drive to keep trying to live my life if that makes any sense. I find my self more and more struggling with apathy to the point that it tamps out most any other emotion, I end up struggling to wake up in the morning vs. just remaining unconscious. I'm just at a point now where it honestly feels like I should just give up and accept that it'll always get worse and that's just how it is?

I'm not really looking for heartfelt sympathy, hugs, or anything like that to be honest with you; I'm just sort of curious how some of my fellow members continue to find the desire to live their life in the face of such hopelessness. I am sure there are others out there like me that struggle with Depression and other disorders and find themselves in the same difficulty I am in now; so I'm opening the floor to you... I'm not entirely sure what I am looking for in this thread, but maybe it'll at the very least help someone else out?