"Tell me i'm unlucky or a terrible driver."
Maybe your torque wrench is seriously out of calibration and you're overtightening the lug nuts.
Fwiw, I grew up in Rockville and learned to drive on the Beltway when it was new. Yeah, I'm old. Is it even possible to go fast enough on D.C. roads to wear out the brakes when you stop? I mean you don't wear out the brakes just sitting in traffic.