for the starter I would only use Denso...on other vehicles I have had crap luck with autozone and orielley brand starters....but wont use them on my 4runner....only on the chebys and fords in family....but that said. The last Denso reman i had went over 100k.

as spartacus mentioned. check your cables...make sure good , clean and tight.
also check your cables on starter, you want them real clean and tight.
next time your starter wont start, stick a piece of wood in between fender to starter contact and hit it with a hammer....if it starts...its the starter.

and lastly....the grounds going from battery to fender, I remove and clean to bare metal when I get a new 4runner. the one right next to the battery.
there is also a small ground on block that goes up on firewall behind pass side valve cover..clean that connection too....and the next 2 steps...
(a)some people ( and I have in the past) done the big 3 wire , and to be honest, I dont know if that really helped me much....
(b) I ran an extra ground from the battery to the alternator top bolt, last time did this b4 doing the big 3 wire set up, this time that might be all I do. Assures me I have a real good ground for engine...but thats prob overkill and redundant.

Cleaning cables and grounds and adding an extra ground is one of the first things I do with a new to me 4runner...or any friends that have me help with doing anything to thie rig...I take the time to clean grounds and battery positive...of course then they have to re-program radio...wahhh
but like you...I have been stranded b4 due to a poor ground ( not on this 4runner)


oh yeah....checck your starter relay...make sure its clean and tight