We have a 2013 SR5 with about 45k. It has XREAS and we have not had any issues. There have been issues with leaks on 4Runners with KDSS; which are expensive to repair. If you are not into going off road, than KDSS isn't worth it IMHO. 4Runners really hold their value, so (to me) it's better to buy new and get the full warranty and 0 miles. We don't have third row; but do have the sun roof. I think we have opened it maybe 3 or 4 times! I wish we didn't have it living in hail country; but have been lucky so far.

Since ours is a 2013, we don't have the new Toyota Safety Sense system. Not sure I'd want it, but it comes on all newer models.

There have been issues with the Toyota infotainment / Nav system. You have to pay for map updates and some folks have issues pairing their phones. I never bothered paring my phone and I use a Garmin GPS with free lifetime updates that I can put in any vehicle.

Good luck with whatever choice you make.