mmartin1,
If you have tried the above, then your gears might be worn. Maybe you should have your Dealer/local mechanic look at it.
If you want to read more about your e-locker, check this link out:
http://www.4x4wire.com/toyota/tech/electric_locker/
"The only problem with the Toyota electric locker, besides being slow to switch states, is that the electric motor appears vulnerable to damage."
Hope this helps (a little)....