This can work, as long as you don't have multiple expensive hobbies.... Don't ask how I know

Tires/lift are the easy ones. "Dang, honey, these OE tires are a joke. I slip all over in the rain. While we're at it, may as well just get a lift because you're buying tires anyway."

Or, just order what you want and work hard for because you're a grown a** human.

Don't know what to tell you, man. I got the stink eye and a sternly irritated "I don't think so" when I casually told my wife that for Christmas I wanted a newer model, low-mileage Tundra that had severe rear end damage so I could take the engine and transmission out if it and put in our 4Runner. I thought she'd be happy I didn't ask to spend more money by purchasing all of those parts new...

I guess I'm in the unique situation of both having expensive hobbies (cars and watches) and being the 'responsible' one in the relationship. My wife is constantly egging me on to do more mods on our cars and I'm typically the one to play the responsibility card.

Congrats, brother!

I haven’t had enough trips under my belt but I try to show her videos of 4runners gracefully traversing the snow or submarining across rivers.

If only I can convince her the rear-tire swing out function trumps the “eye-sore-to-her” aesthetic.

she gets to buy all the lululemon while i wear free promo tshirts that no1 wants.

The problem with this (and this was the approach that I started with) is that the 4 runner is so capable out of the box that she was actually more opposed to modding. After taking an off-roading class about a year after we bought the vehicle we did agree on skids and sliders to protect it.

I agree the capability is part of the issue if you're a "mod for need" type. Almost 6 years and 90+k on the clock and still running the OEM suspension...only addition was air bags for towing our camping trailer. I've been waiting for a suspension fail for a while but it just keeps plugging along. I know once we upgrade it will be an epiphany on "wow, this what we were missing", as we do put on a lot of hard miles, off-road and don't travel light, but haven't "needed" it yet.

Wife and I split the bills (now that she makes nearly as much as me).
As long as the bills are paid on time and we have food, buy what you want with the money you earned.
I bought sliders to replace the nerf/steps (sliders should be done soon). Went offroading and scraped a nerf/step. "See honey, that won't happen with sliders".
A few years back I got a great deal on a compound bow, she had bought a (pos) horse trailer. Both cost the same. She started to say something about how much I spent. I pointed out it was as much as she spent. "Happy anniversary, we both got what we wanted". I then went back to work on her horse trailer.

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*shrug* I'm responsible as well and our bills are always paid, but she constantly reminds me that I have too many hobbies and how much they cost. Either they get it or they don't

At least he's being honest. What does compromising with your wife have to do with not having a spine?

We recently took a 8 day road trip and she saw how saggy the back end was when fully loaded and so that was the other part of it. It wont sag like that with the upgraded suspension.

We did Fins and Things in Moab loaded and so she saw first hand how much i needed stiffer springs too!

Yeah I don't get much push back form my wife on modifications. I also don't go overboard on anything anymore either.

Plus I try to follow the repair and replace modification method. Tires wear out, time for ATs. Shocks are squishy, time for a lift... etc.
Now, am I saying the 50k mile life tires feel worn out at 10k? Maybe. Only me and Discount Tire need to know that.

Work for the extra income, then she'll have no say in modding.😁

Here's a thought:

• Draft up something that looks like a recall letter, stick a Toyota logo at the top.

• Have the letter say that stock suspension is unsafe after X amount of miles and needs replaced by the vehicle owner.

• Act pissed off when you show it to your wife. "This is ridiculous!"

• "Well, your safety and the safety of our family is my biggest concern..."

• Get double bypass Kings

Buy it for her, then pay it off, then modify to your liking


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