we just had a parent tell off the coach and pull her kid from the team on my sons 13 yr old basketball team because she felt they weren't playing him enough. he hardly showed up for practice, and didn't give 100 percent, and the whole team had been told you will be benched if you are not performing or following the plays etc.
it speaks to a greater issue, people think rules don't apply to them
i'm a high school lacrosse coach and this is ever evident even at the top level of varsity sports. "helicopter parents" that want to make sure everyone gets fair treatment and are always angry that their kid isn't getting the same opportunities are everywhere. its tough to tell parents that no your kid isn't special and doesnt deserve what you say they deserve. its a product of parenting more than anything IMO
I played lacrosse in highschool, and we had parents like that. The coach had it easy as the players would tell the parents the truth about their kid and if the parents tried to get him special treatment, well he got it alright
My jaw just about hit the floor the other day when I heard a young woman, who I will keep anonymous, say (after completing a $120k plus 4 year college degree paid for by her WW2 D-Day vet grandfather...) "I am not going to look for a full time job... you only live once and I want to spend my time with the man I love (in reference to her boyfriend and I suppose soon to be fiance)..."
That is the mentality many are adopting these days...
Unbelievable.
That's one of the great injustices in life... I've seen several well off kids piss away stuff just like this, while there are motivated individuals out there who would actually appreciate such an opportunity and DO something with it - but they'll never get that chance due to circumstances outside their control.
That's one of the great injustices in life... I've seen several well off kids piss away stuff just like this, while there are motivated individuals out there who would actually appreciate such an opportunity and DO something with it - but they'll never get that chance due to circumstances outside their control.
Yeah but at the same time people change, and their experiences define them. You can't tell me you wouldn't throw it all away if you had the opportunity to accomplish your life's dream?
I've worked my ass off to get to where I am today. I'm barely 25 and I've finished my enlistment, Im so close to a 6 figure promotion I can taste it, I own a beautiful house in the suburbs, married and have a 4 year old little girl.
I'd throw it all away (except the missus and my kid) to build a sea container house on a hill side overlooking the ocean in the PNW and build wooden boats and restore old motorcycles.
That's one of the great injustices in life... I've seen several well off kids piss away stuff just like this, while there are motivated individuals out there who would actually appreciate such an opportunity and DO something with it - but they'll never get that chance due to circumstances outside their control.
Shoot, its not like this latest generation invented the MRS. degree, I knew tons of girls back in college back in the 90's spending mommy and daddy's money looking for Mr. Pays-The-Bills/Gives-The-Babies.
Then you look at kids like the viral video of the 12 year old boy whose dad setup a shop and bought him a ragged out old bike, tools and know how to build an awesome custom ride. That kid is both privileged and has made the most of the opportunity that that privilege gave him. All hope is not lost.
i'm a high school lacrosse coach and this is ever evident even at the top level of varsity sports. "helicopter parents" that want to make sure everyone gets fair treatment and are always angry that their kid isn't getting the same opportunities are everywhere. its tough to tell parents that no your kid isn't special and doesnt deserve what you say they deserve. its a product of parenting more than anything IMO
This is why I would be an awful coach/teacher, I have no tact. The conversation would probably go along the lines of,
Parent: "Why aren't you playing my son? Billy's not getting near as much playtime as Johnny"
Me: "Well, Johnny comes to practice, works really hard, practices at home, gives it 100% every time he steps onto the field and is an encouragement to the rest of the team with his work ethic."
Parent: "But.."
Me: "I'm not done, BILLY on the other hand, shows up late to practice, doesn't work hard, would rather talk to the other kids, and brings down the morale of the team."
Parent: "Well Billy can't help that he's not as naturally gifted as Johnny, but he still deserves to play!"
Me: "So you're saying Billy's not naturally gifted at working hard?"
Parent: "Well, maybe Billy would work harder if he actually got to play"
Me: "Well, maybe Billy would get to play if he actually worked hard in the first place."
Enter infinite loop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ddnww
we just had a parent tell off the coach and pull her kid from the team on my sons 13 yr old basketball team because she felt they weren't playing him enough. he hardly showed up for practice, and didn't give 100 percent, and the whole team had been told you will be benched if you are not performing or following the plays etc.
Well, at least the parent pulled the kid from the team.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TotalAutomotiveLV
I played lacrosse in highschool, and we had parents like that. The coach had it easy as the players would tell the parents the truth about their kid and if the parents tried to get him special treatment, well he got it alright
It's a combination of things really, but the main points I've noticed that seem to be pervasive in the majority of the US:
-Lack of Self-Responsibility (evidenced by "there's an app," "I have AAA why do I need to know how to change a tire or check oil?" "It's not my fault, I can sue them!" )
-Far too Politically Correct (evidenced by... well pretty much just look around, you can't say anything without most hipster 20-somes getting offended by it. I'm not saying we need to run around shouting Confederate anthems, but this over PC attitude is part of why Racism in this country never died, it just got white-washed in PC BS.)
-Lack of good work ethic (Again, most kids these days think they'll invent an App and make millions, most don't want to get their hands dirty or do hard labour; hence why this country is going to have an issue in the Industrial Technologies area when all the baby boomers finally die off/retire eventually)
-Things are more expensive, difficult, and/or ridiculous than before (I live in the Bay Area, the living cost in high density urban areas is so ridiculous these days you can't survive in the city very well. Most people live out of the Bay Area and commute in because of the high living costs, this is not endemic to the Bay Area, but many other major cities. This descepency in living costs strains many young adults and they end up living with their parents, in fact I being one of them do live with my parents for this reason.) [I have no debt, the 4Runner is paid off, my Tools are paid off, and yet it is financially a poor decision for me to live on my own in the Bay Area right now because my income is slightly above the poverty line in California; yet in the rest of the US I'd be a "Blue Collar Middle Class" with no issues. One of the reasons I am considering abandoning California for Oregon.]
-Lack of Critical Thinking Skills (A lot of kids these days seem to lack the critical problem solving skills many of us grew up with and/or developed to tackle unique problems. While there are very brilliant young men and women out there, they can't seem to apply their intelligence flexibly. I have met plenty of young engineers and physics majors that can't piece together how to change a tire despite their respective fields teaching them the primary forces and mechanics involved in doing so. This might be due to parents coddling, providing, being over protective, reducing hardships, and/or other possible conditions. I'm not saying the parents are in the wrong, but rather these days there IS an App for everything and/or many things are easily solved through 3rd party means, this probably strips away opportunities for young adults to learn critical thinking and problem solving skills that they can adapt later in life.)
-America as a whole has become lazy and obsessed with "easy living" more than "The American Dream."
These are things I noticed over the years as both a legal immigrant from a ex-communist country and citizen of the US. But also as someone who started off rather on the low end of the spectrum and worked their way up.
These are things I noticed over the years as both a legal immigrant from a ex-communist country and citizen of the US. But also as someone who started off rather on the low end of the spectrum and worked their way up.
It addresses how culture is a big part of the problem.
I also think a lot of the problem can be attributed to the "every kid is a winner" attitude that most parents have. THE IRONY is that it all comes back to bite the parents in the ass when the kid has to move back in at 22 after college for the next 4 years until they figure their life out.
* Raise your kid to take care of himself/herself. As in don't tie their shoe for them once they know how to do it. PERIOD.
* Kids should have a financial stake in college. Only offer to pay for part of it and let them know that they can't move back in after college. That they will HAVE TO get a job, even if it is a gas station after college so they better choose their major wisely.
On a side note ... who here has seen "Jiro Dreams of Sushi" ? This is a documentary about Sushi (sure) but mainly it is about LIFE ATTITUDE and WORK ETHIC.
This is most exemplified when Jiro recalls telling his 30 year old son (and Sushi student) who after 10 years was leaving to start his own restaurant "You can never come back here to work". Work your hardest at the new business because you are on your own now, the door back is closed. Don't let the family down. It is on Netflix and I highly recommend it.
__________________
Those he commands move only in command, Nothing in love. Now does he feel his title, Hang loose about him, like a giant’s robe, Upon a dwarfish treasonous thief.
Yeah, the throwing away opportunity thing is not new. In fact, watching kids (some of them friends of mine at the time) with resources being irresponsible/wasting opportunity while me and the (now wife) worked 30+ hours a week while taking classes and building student loan debt to earn it ourselves kinda kicked off my irritation with this early on in my life. I know there are many who would think the opportunities I've had are great compared to what's available to them. I have tried to make the most out of what I've been dealt.
The flip side is I've known some kids with very wealthy parents who were quite humble, knew they had a leg up, and wisely used their position to better themselves. I'm not envious because people had/have it better than me - I'd use that leverage to my advantage too. My problem is seeing it ignorantly wasted by fools.
I'm abstaining from this discussion but did get a kick out of a few of these.
Those were clearly made by someone that doesn't realize that life HAS NEVER BEEN EASY.
Probably someone that is a product of what this thread is about. Kiddies that are never taught to try, because they are told they are super-extra-special no matter what they do.
Then they get older and realize the harsh reality that they have to get off their ass and actually DO something.