Dear Current US President, Senate and Congress:
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> >
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> > I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I
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> > would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border
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> > from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know
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> > you can help with this.
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> >
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> > I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration
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> > quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do
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> > here.
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> >
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> > So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on
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> > my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
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> >
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> > 1. Free medical care for my entire family.
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> >
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> > 2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need,
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> > whether I use them or not.
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> >
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> > 3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
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> >
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> > 4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
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> >
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> > 5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
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> >
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> > 6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag
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> > pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
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> >
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> > 7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
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> >
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> > 8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access
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> > to government services.
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> >
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> > 9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to
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> > learn local traffic laws.
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> >
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> > 10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from
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> > Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak
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> > English.
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> >
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> > 11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my
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> > car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
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> > complaints or negative comments from the locals.
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> >
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> > 12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and
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> > don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
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> >
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> > 13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and
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> > never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on
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> > the economy.
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> >
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> > I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for
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> > all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox
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> > won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
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> >
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> > Thank you so much for your kind help.
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> >
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> > Sincerely, US Citizen & Taxpayer