I figured it out......for those as half-way as inept as my I'll post my findings.

On the 5spd V8, as the w metal tubes come from the tranny forward, they split.....the one that goes to the small "supplemental" tranny cooler is the return line. I disconnected the rubber hose where it connects to the long metal tube that goes back to the tranny and with engine running drained the line(rubber hose pumping into oil catch basin). Getting the rubber hose off the tube was the hardest part in this whole job. The hose was ON that tube!
-I added 3 qts of WS fluid.(plan ahead....getting fluid to the fill plug is a PITA) Cranked and drained again. Fluid will splash and sputter......i had cardboard sheets down in the garage, highly recommended if you care about the look of your concrete.
-Added 3 more qts again. Cranked but only ran until red fluid came out rubber hose. About 1 qt or so pumped out before it was red.
-Added another qt. Attached rubber hose back to metal tube.
-Cranked engine, ran through all of the gears for 10 secs or so a piece.
-Opened up oil level "check" bolt and let some fluid run out(since I had overfilled.....wasn't sure it was over filled but I knew it would be close.)
-Closed check bolt when flow/drop slowed.
-Drove around the neighborhood to heat up fluid and help remove air pockets. Fluid is supposed to be 115-130F when check for the "level" of fluid.(per Toyota service manual)
-Opened up and checked fluid again, let a little bit more drain out and then closed it off and finished up.

For those interested. 2005 4wd V8. 102K miles(original trans fluid)
Not much towing over its lifetime.
-Fluid that came out was the color of coke. not black, very slight red tint.
-I used a total of 7 qts.
-used 15/16 socket to remove fill plug.
-12mm socket w short extension to remove skid plate
-14mm socket for trans pan drain plug
-4mm(i think) on trans pan level check plug.
-pump set, extended clear vinyl hose
-channel locks to clamp vinyl hose to prevent WS fluid from getting everywhere once it's pumped into tube.
-Bring your used fluid to oil recyling place or I'm gonna poop on your front steps!