Mark,
I'm not sure what calculations you're doing but that's not adding up to my math that I have on file.
Rpm = mph x gear ratio x 336 / Tire diameter
30.6 = stock diameter tire
33.0 = 33" tires
34.6 = 315/75/16 mtr (as a sample)
75 x 3.727 x 336 / 30.6 = 3069rpm
75 x 3.727 x 336 / 33.0 = 2846rpm
75 x 3.727 x 336 / 34.6 = 2714rpm
75 x 3.909 x 336 / 30.6 = 3219rpm
75 x 3.909 x 336 / 33.0 = 2985rpm
75 x 3.909 x 336 / 34.6 = 2847rpm
75 x 4.11 x 336 / 30.6 = 3385rpm
75 x 4.11 x 336 / 33.0 = 3139rpm
75 x 4.11 x 336 / 34.6 = 2993rpm
75 x 4.33 x 336 / 30.6 = 3566rpm
75 x 4.33 x 336 / 33.0 = 3307rpm
75 x 4.33 x 336 / 34.6 = 3154rpm
75 x 4.56 x 336 / 30.6 = 3755rpm
75 x 4.56 x 336 / 33.0 = 3482rpm
75 x 4.56 x 336 / 34.6 = 3321rpm
75 x 4.88 x 336 / 30.6 = 4019rpm
75 x 4.88 x 336 / 33.0 = 3727rpm
75 x 4.88 x 336 / 34.6 = 3554rpm
Based on these numbers it would look as though that 4.56 would be too low. Of course doing the straight math would yield 3.93 or 4.11 (with 33" tires from 3.727 gearing) being ideal in going back to stock on the mechanical end but factoring the rotational mass involved, going one size lower to 4.33 would be more common. The unfortunate side to this is that I do not know of any vendors that carry 4.33's at all. This would mean that we're either stuck w/ going with the factory Toyota 4.10's or going up to 4.56's when they become available.
Remember that changing gears is to help restore the low end that you effectively lose when getting larger tires. On the flip side, gaining too much low end can have a reverse effect as you will lose the upper end (highway driving) if you are geared too low which would suck for daily drivers that commute on the highway.
As for real world testing on which gears is really the best, I can't say for sure right now. I would suspect 4.56's to be too low for anyone with 33's but I could be wrong. I'd like to see some actual conversions prior to making my final assessment.
Personally I'm still on the fence on which gear set to ultimately go with. Between 4.33's and 4.56's the logical route would yield me 4.33's but the lack of 4.33's right now would force me to the 4.56's which I am not comfortable going there. We'll see as I would like to have my 4runner geared for 33's rather than 35's (as I still run both sizes on a regular basis) which would lead me to 4.33's. Hopefully someone else will go down this path prior to me so I don't have to test the numbers

(hint hint Mark! hehe) As bad as running 35's is on the road, it's still doable in that I'm really in no hurry to rush into this. Costs on getting them installed is not cheap and the lack of fund is also pushing me back on this mod.