If I know ahead of time that the road conditions will be less than ideal, I'll put it in 4H early on when I'm stopped for gas before I get into the Sierras. If I starts snowing as I'm driving up, I'll just flip it into 4H making sure I'm on a straight stretch and under 62mph. The 4th gen 4WD 4Runners have a full time 4WD system, so you can drive in 4H all year round and it won't harm the 4Runner in anyway. When in doubt, put it in 4H. I use 4H when there's a down pour.
I have Michelin CrossTerrains on mine, no problems with snow. Very stable and I feel confident with them.
I'm in NorCal, SoCal members here have mentioned it's a little bit different down south and they enforce chains differently.
Chains, technically in CA, you're required to have them with you at all times when it snows in the event of chain controls. However, most of the time chain controls are in effect for 2WD vehicles and 4WD/AWD vehicles may pass without having chains on. Usually the highway gets shut down before they make a 4WD/AWD vehicle chain up. (Last year it was snowing at a really decent rate, not white out conditions and the ground wasn't completely white. I80 and US50 was shut down for the night and did open until 8-9am. At 6am with daylight it was plenty driveable, just an inch or so on the ground at the higher elevations.) For that reason, I and my snowboarding buddies do not have chains for our 4WD/AWD vehicles. None of them have gotten stuck due to R3, when I asked if any of them have chains. However, this is our approach (don't blame me).

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From the link below:
R-1: Chains are required on all vehicles except passenger vehicles and light-duty trucks under 6,000 pounds gross weight and equipped with snow tires on at least two drive wheels. Chains must be carried by vehicles using snow tires. All vehicles towing trailers must have chains on one drive axle. Trailers with brakes must have chains on at least one axle.
R-2: Chains are required on all vehicles except four-wheel-drive vehicles under 6,500 pounds gross weight and equipped with snow tires on all four wheels. Chains for one set of drive wheels must be carried by four wheel-drive vehicles using snow tires.
R-3: Chains are required on all vehicles without exception.
R-1 and R-2 are the most common conditions. A highway will often be closed before an R-3 condition is imposed. Some local areas may use variations of these designations. You must follow the directions on the signs posted for chain controls or any instructions given by Caltrans or CHP personnel at chain control check points, even if these are at variance with broadcast road condition reports or information contained herein.
I haven't encountered black ice before, or I did and wasn't aware of it. I've been on ice before, but it was a steep iced over driveway. Slip and slide.
Chain controls in CA FAQ.
Hope this helps. And let it snow. It's all brown at my resort.
