I need to move.

[KidVermicious]

I realized today why my son has been hanging out around the house all summer, bugging me to play video games. He's got nowhere else to go.

When I was his age, we lived in a tiny suburb outside Eugene surrounded by farmers fields and irrigation ditches and little groves of trees. We had a pond down the road for fishing or swimming or hunting frogs or building rafts that would sink 10 minutes later, we had the old gravel quarry to ride our bikes in, we had the woods for building forts and playing soldier or pretending to hunt birds and squirrels with our bb guns, we had things to do and places to go and trees to climb. My boy doesn't have that. He has a bike, but there's too much traffic for him to ride in the street and there's nowhere else to ride. He has a bb gun, but I can't let him go outside with it or we'll get charged with reckless endangerment. He's got a fishing pole, but I have to drive halfway across town just to find a fishing pond, and they're packed and overfished and no fun.

Where we live right now works very well for me - low land values, low crime, quick access to the freeway, it's been great. But it's not great for him. I think it's time to start looking for a new home.

 

[VoodooTitan]

Damn Kev, can I call you Kev? lol

Sorry to hear. Reminds me of a conversation I had with friend not too long ago who grew up in South Carolina. He talked about how him and his sister used to disappear for hours and just go and do dumb kid stuff. Climb trees, swim in the lakes, wander the woods.

When I was a kid we used to play outside for hours on end, ride our bikes, go swimming and all kinds of stuff.

Times are changed though. I don't have kids but I see it, I know what you're talking about. If you let your kids go off on their own, someone will call CPS on you for negligence. If you let them play with a BB gun or paintball gun it's recklessness or negligence. Too dangerous to let them wander off because of psychopaths and pedophiles.

Since moving is a huge life decision, have you thought about getting him into some type of hobby or summer activity or camp? Does he have any interest other than video games? Is there a chance you could get him into cars, or like motorcross or go-cart racing or something? Something he could invest time in in the garage but learn at the same time?

If my dad would have bought me an old blown out motor and told me to take it apart for the summer and learn the part's I'd have been all over it. Just a thought, maybe you can find middle ground for him, you don't have to move but you can get him involved in something that will help him develop a trade or skill that doesn't involve sitting in front of a tv with a controller in his hand.

 

[junaitari]

I realized today why my son has been hanging out around the house all summer, bugging me to play video games. He's got nowhere else to go.

I am right there eith you. I feel like I have deprived my son of a childhood. I try to get him out and away as much as possible, but having to drive to do anything just plain sucks. We try to get out as much as possible, but we can't go play every day. Nothing would get done at home.

I am just glad he gets to go to my parents home 3 days out of the week while we are at work. Its a 40 mile drive to their home, but right on the way to work so its no big deal to drop him off. They have 27 acres with 2 ponds, a horse, a dog, and a bit of timber. Man, I miss having that!

 

[KidVermicious]

Since moving is a huge life decision, have you thought about getting him into some type of hobby or summer activity or camp? Does he have any interest other than video games?.

Oh, for sure. It's not that he's not interested in other stuff, it's just not available to him like it was to me. I take my boy camping, wheeling, mountain biking, hiking, fishing, you name it he loves it. But the thing is I have to take him, and I can't do that nearly as often as he needs. When I was a kid I loved to head out with dad, but when dad was working or otherwise busy I had an entire world I could head out into by myself or with a buddy. My boy doesn't have that opportunity, so it's no wonder he's bored and turns to video games.

 

[ToyotaDoodz]

I realized today why my son has been hanging out around the house all summer, bugging me to play video games. He's got nowhere else to go. . . . Where we live right now works very well for me - low land values, low crime, quick access to the freeway, it's been great. But it's not great for him. I think it's time to start looking for a new home.

You are a great Dad. Many these days would never look past their own needs.

 

[LittleCaesar]

Unfortunately that kind of care-free kid loving utopian life doesn't exist as prevalent today as it did for me for example in the 80s. Having grown up in SC myself as a young child, from right out the front door in a small neighborhood I got to explore hundreds acres of land that teemed with wildlife, borrow canoes to go fishing in saltwater bays, played with my friends from sun up to sun down devoid of parental oversight, go climbing on beach dunes. If I could have a couple of Bill Murray Groundhog years, I'd love to have my childhood back.

But as Thomas Wolfe stated, You Can't Go Home Again so I'm here.

The overwhelming problem I see here along the coasts of both NC and SC is how the price of home values and land have increased 10x since I was young. Gone are the days of just using one's house as shelter; now people use them as personal piggy banks for everything, the rich buy bundled mortgages to become more wealthy, and you better believe that municipalities don't want to see their tax property base devalued so they love to see the higher, albeit sometimes artificially inflated pricing of homes.

When you find that new abode (probably not in CA I'd guess), let us know.

 

[KidVermicious]

I bet you'll find exactly that kind of home all over northern California (by which I mean actually-northern California, not middle-of-California-that-calls-itself-northern-California). Also New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, pretty much all around me. Not so much in Utah itself because we literally transition from Really Big Mountains to Really Hot Desert in about 10 miles and inside that 10 miles is the strip called the Wasatch Front, which has been rapidly filled in by the Salt Lake City metroplex. East or west is not really an option, so I'll have to go near 100 miles north or south to find my rural home. That's going to be a hell of a commute, so I guess I'm still looking.

 

[Hepar]

I think part of it is also the sign of the times. My nephews are 11 and 7 and their life revolves around screens. TV's, internet, Nintento DS's, etc etc. It's everywhere.

I do agree though that a place where a kid can be, well more of a kid would help too.

 

[ndcent]

I cherish my childhood growing up on several acres surrounded by fields and woods. Getting home from school and instead of walking next door to play Nintendo with a buddy I could ride my dirt bike, shoot my BB gun, mess with the creek and marsh, explore, etc. loved it. Even them I knew better than to be jealous of my suburban neighborhood friends.

 

[1engineer]

I bet you'll find exactly that kind of home all over northern California (by which I mean actually-northern California, not middle-of-California-that-calls-itself-northern-California). Also New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, pretty much all around me. Not so much in Utah itself because we literally transition from Really Big Mountains to Really Hot Desert in about 10 miles and inside that 10 miles is the strip called the Wasatch Front, which has been rapidly filled in by the Salt Lake City metroplex. East or west is not really an option, so I'll have to go near 100 miles north or south to find my rural home. That's going to be a hell of a commute, so I guess I'm still looking.

I'm gonna be controversial for a minute so bear with me:

Our way of growing up is just that: A way of growing up. That way was not the right way, nor was it the wrong way, it was just a way. I grew up on a farm here in the mountains and had all the freedom in the world to do the things like many of you speak of. While I have many fond memories we tend to forget the many not so fond memories.

Now, I am in the home stretch of raising two children. One just graduated with her RN, BSN and goes for a job interview today. She is 21. The other will be a junior this year working on his BSME. He is 19. They are what I call "hybrid" kids. They are the first full generation to fully grow up in a digital age, meaning the internet, cell phones, computers and video game consoles were there from the start for them. Guess what: They figured it out! They love the outdoors and they loved going in and texting or playing video games. We would do all the things you list and we would also play racing games on Xbox or COD. My daughter loved Guitar Hero lol.

What I'm saying is you can't stop progress or the changing of the times. You just can't. Sure, moving out in the middle of nowhere will give YOU your idyllic place where you can reminiscence about days gone by but unfortunately that is not the world today. My Father and Grandfather both told me how much their childhood was and all that stuff (skateboards, bicycles) was nowhere near the fun THEY used to have going trapping for three days, skipping school (my dad finished 9th grade) and sneaking out at night going coon hunting. My point is every generation thinks the world they grew up in is better than the one their kids are growing up in and they had more fun than their kids are having. That might be true but you can never bring it back.

What I found while raising my children was, if they liked doing something, they found a place and a way to do it irregardless of location or time. And, and this is big, as they grow older your "sphere of influence" grows steadily smaller lol. You might THINK you are influencing your child at the age of 12 or so but in reality his buddy or that little girl at school is really who he is listening to. Good luck!

 

[nevada]

I realized today why my son has been hanging out around the house all summer, bugging me to play video games. He's got nowhere else to go.

When I was his age, we lived in a tiny suburb outside Eugene surrounded by farmers fields and irrigation ditches and little groves of trees. We had a pond down the road for fishing or swimming or hunting frogs or building rafts that would sink 10 minutes later, we had the old gravel quarry to ride our bikes in, we had the woods for building forts and playing soldier or pretending to hunt birds and squirrels with our bb guns, we had things to do and places to go and trees to climb. My boy doesn't have that. He has a bike, but there's too much traffic for him to ride in the street and there's nowhere else to ride. He has a bb gun, but I can't let him go outside with it or we'll get charged with reckless endangerment. He's got a fishing pole, but I have to drive halfway across town just to find a fishing pond, and they're packed and overfished and no fun.

Where we live right now works very well for me - low land values, low crime, quick access to the freeway, it's been great. But it's not great for him. I think it's time to start looking for a new home.

good for you.

my story is similar, but unfortunately finances keep me from just up and moving. there are 5 of us in a very tiny house, with a very small yard, on a busy street...
also, they don't watch tv, or have any screened electronics. they play games, or otherwise keep themselves occupied.

we get the kids out to ride dirt bikes, and shoot guns, go camping/hiking etc.. yes, I have to take them, but I enjoy spending that time with them.

we plan to move in the future, to a place with more room, and less traffic...but for now we do what we can.

 

[MyHigh]

Man this thread hits home, just recently my sis from Colorado came up to Oregon for a month long visit :hurt:.

Don't get me wrong, it was nice but very, very hard to be around her for that long. Not since we were kids have we spent that much time together, and her kids, man her kids drove me nuts!

9 y/o boy and 7 y/o girl and all they wanted to do was play video games, ALL DAY LONG!!!.......no, no, no this did not go good with me. Yes as a kid I played video games, but only when I had nothing else to do. So what did I do? I went and bought hundreds of dollars of things to do. Model rockets, they could assemble and we could go shoot. Compasses, so I could teach them how to use one, and then set up a treasure hunt with a map and compass, that actually had 2 silver coins buried for the treasure. Fishing poles, basketballs, water balloons you name it I went and bought it. I figured it was money well spent, it would get these kids outside!!

Boy was I wrong, it actually made me very upset because they wanted nothing to do with any of it, spoiled little brats wanted me to put together the rocket, wanted me to run the compass and they just follow.

Point is I guess, kids are just a different breed then kids of yesterday. Like many here I was outside from sunrise to sunset and sometimes beyond sunset if I could sneak out. But we can't give in to technology, there is a time and place for everything and I feel summertime is meant to be outside experiencing things learning to once again use your imagination. Making guns out of sticks and tape and string.

I give you major props kev for wanting to give your son the very best gift any father could give his son, and that's a childhood to remember!
I wish you the best in trying to find a location for him to grow up in.

 

[ddnww]

take away his tv, video games, cell phone, tablet and all other computer
technologies, and i guarantee he will find something usefull to do.
:usa:

 

[nevada]

take away his tv, video games, cell phone, tablet and all other computer
technologies, and i guarantee he will find something usefull to do.
:usa:

agreed.

 

[CXS]

You might THINK you are influencing your child at the age of 12 or so but in reality his buddy or that little girl at school is really who he is listening to.

Amen brother!

 

[BrianSD_42]

One thing I will say is that even if a family lives somewhere with lots to do outside many kids choose to just play video games if their parents let them. I'm not saying that is you as a parent but I just wanted to point out sometimes more is required then just living in an outdoor friendly neighborhood.

 

[lelandr]

I'm gonna be controversial for a minute so bear with me:

Our way of growing up is just that: A way of growing up. That way was not the right way, nor was it the wrong way, it was just a way. I grew up on a farm here in the mountains and had all the freedom in the world to do the things like many of you speak of. While I have many fond memories we tend to forget the many not so fond memories.

Now, I am in the home stretch of raising two children. One just graduated with her RN, BSN and goes for a job interview today. She is 21. The other will be a junior this year working on his BSME. He is 19. They are what I call "hybrid" kids. They are the first full generation to fully grow up in a digital age, meaning the internet, cell phones, computers and video game consoles were there from the start for them. Guess what: They figured it out! They love the outdoors and they loved going in and texting or playing video games. We would do all the things you list and we would also play racing games on Xbox or COD. My daughter loved Guitar Hero lol.

What I'm saying is you can't stop progress or the changing of the times. You just can't. Sure, moving out in the middle of nowhere will give YOU your idyllic place where you can reminiscence about days gone by but unfortunately that is not the world today. My Father and Grandfather both told me how much their childhood was and all that stuff (skateboards, bicycles) was nowhere near the fun THEY used to have going trapping for three days, skipping school (my dad finished 9th grade) and sneaking out at night going coon hunting. My point is every generation thinks the world they grew up in is better than the one their kids are growing up in and they had more fun than their kids are having. That might be true but you can never bring it back.

What I found while raising my children was, if they liked doing something, they found a place and a way to do it irregardless of location or time. And, and this is big, as they grow older your "sphere of influence" grows steadily smaller lol. You might THINK you are influencing your child at the age of 12 or so but in reality his buddy or that little girl at school is really who he is listening to. Good luck!

Best advice so far. Mine's only 3, but I can see he likes screens. However, he also loves kicking the ball at the park, running to the pond to see turtles, jungle gyms and "helping" daddy work on the race car. I can see that the stuff on the screens can be beneficial & educational in limited doses, but the problem is that many parents use the screens as baby sitters. We work hard to get a lot more outdoor time, even if we have to compromise or drive.

 

[Brique]

Tennessee has lots of open space and no state income tax.