I couldn't disagree more with you. I don't understand why you even asked for help when your telling me what I should have? I have the trailer setup with the weight you will probably be around. Im not driving it in Drive. I have to keep the RPM's up to create power. With 4.56 I would have less RPM's creating less hp/torque. Don't listen to the calculations that others are suppling without taking into account thinner air at higher elevations, when there is real world experience out there. I would bet most of these guys are not pulling trailers in high elevation, outside of a military style setup. Nitro Gears recommended that I go with 4.88 all day and I don't regret it, unless I were to add a supercharger.
This guy is sitting on same size tires and 4.88 gears:
Flashback - Re-Gearing your 4Runner - Is it worth it? - YouTube
If you plan to go with 37" tires maybe call Chris Hefty at Hefty Fabworks he has 37"s or likely bigger now, but he may be of some help to you. He runs 4.56 with a supercharger.