I'm in Little Rock. I'm running a full Overland Warehouse setup (it's made by Radflo but has different specs than the typical Radflo kit). If you ever get down this way, I'd be happy to meet up so you can get a feel for the ride with this kit.
I agree with doing it right the first time, but there's no clear definition for "right". For the uses you mentioned, I think the coil over kits are overkill. If you can afford them and have money to burn then by all means go for it. In my opinion the OME is the stiffest, that's the main reason I'm running the OW kit (didn't like the OME setup).
My suggestion is based on mileage. As I originally said, if your at 75-100k miles then the shocks probably need replaced. If you're lower mileage, I'd just do the spacer lift. XREAS is a good system, especially for what you're using it for. If you decide to replace it, I'd go with 5100's and FJ coils all around. I ran this and really liked it. My only complaint was that there was more nose dive when braking than stock XREAS. I ended up upgrading (several times for various reasons), but in the end it was a big price to pay. The coil over kits are no doubt better off road, but for on road use I don't see a huge difference other than less nose dive when braking and body roll in turns.
I can't compare to ICON as I've never had them, but I have had multiple setups and for on road handling it's hard to beat the 5100/FJ setup for the price.