Well I have good and bad news to report.
The 4wd is now working, but I can not pinpoint what was going on.
I believe the ADD actuator may have been stuck. I tried to jumper it to "engage" and it just groaned a bit. Jumper it to disengage and got a good sound out of the motor. Then I jumped it to engaged and it worked smoothly. I confirmed the front diff was engaged by spinning the front tires by hand and watching both front tires spin.
Jumped it open and closed a few more times, plugged it back in, and boom. 4wd instantly engages. I usually am rolling at 1-5mph when I engage the 4wd, but this weekend I was sitting in a line waiting to take off when I realized I had not engaged my 4wd...
I'm going to post up later once I study the pinouts on the 4wd ECU Harness. I believe you can jump the ADD actuator from there, as the power comes from the 4wd Harness. Can anyone confirm this before I go on a wild goose chase. Is there an ADD relay or separate computer somewhere under the dash?