Ok, [MENTION=103267]Saker[/MENTION] wins this round of solve the Internet/life/off-roading dummy's problem. This morning became the 2nd time I ever engaged 4L following the proper and critical point (for me) to press DOWN on the selector. My apologies for my stupidly - stick around I'll have more. And yes it was a grade and not a slope. My buddy drives a Ford F-150 and he's a normal guy who likes busting balls (just like I would have if his Mexican? built Ford got stuck). I take full ownership of my failure to know how to operate my own vehicle and my lack of offroad experience. But at least this unnecessary thread made some readers aware of what was probably an Antman post about "use it or loose it" and the need to engage 4H monthly.
As always, thank you T4R members.