I think the model of 4Runner makes a world of difference. Mine is a '03 V8 Limited with full-time 4wd and center Torsen differential w/locking. Even with those Michelins (yes, that exact stock tire) it does quite well in the snow. It can be a problem at times on city street corners trying to turn due to the differential trying to maintain traction. The Michelins are nearly bald, and no, it is not that I like them, just surprised they bite at all.
I can tell you from experience that a full-blown AT will work better overall, but has some limitations you should understand. In deep water/heavy rains - they do very well. But, braking will not be as good due to a lack of contact and siping that other M&S tires have for overall wet pavement. A standard M&S can hydroplane much easier than the more open, deeper tread on any common AT rated tire in heavy rain and standing water. Icy conditions can be downright weird with an AT - sometimes they work awesome, other times they are really not very good. Just depends on conditions and tire pressures/tread design. I always set my tire pressures by a temperature/pressure method that usually falls between the max sidewall rating and vehicle's stock tire pressure recommendations.
If you're concerned about fuel mileage - look up the specifications of tires you are interested in and look for their rolling resistance rating. The stock Michelins are pretty low in rolling resistance - many brands of AT styles are far higher and will cost you fuel mileage. Again, tire pressure is another big factor. Those much hated Firestone AT's on my pickup are super-sensitive to pressure in relation to fuel mileage - they have to run nearly at the max sidewall rating to avoid dramatically dropping fuel mileage. If I don't run them that high, the truck loses 7mpg on an average tank despite the MDS system and 8spd trans. Otherwise, I can easily squeeze an average of 18.5-20mpg out of a 6,000+lb truck. My V8 4Runner has averaged so far around 18, not bad considering it is an older AWD model.
You really have to get used to the vehicle and how it responds to conditions. The 4Runner will have a fairly high learning curve unless you've owned body on frame solid axle 4wd trucks in the past. I grew up on those, they definitely have their quirks compared to modern vehicles but when the conditions are really bad the newer stuff can fall short in comparison. You have to learn to feel the extra weight of the full-frame design and especially the braking limitations. My '14 pickup, despite weighing a full ton more than the T4R can easily out stop it any day. It can also easily track through deep snow or ice pretty easily with the electronic traction control - up to a point. Comparing the 4Runner to the old Land Cruiser is a no-contest, that old dinosaur would run circles around it in almost any weather. Those things are tanks and in 4hi was pretty much unstoppable. Even with open diffs, it would just keep going.
If you're finding a loss of steering response in low traction conditions - turn the 4wd off - that center diff is the problem and causing the front axle to understeer. The Torsen center differential needs a certain load coming back from each corner to make it work - low traction conditions can make it fight itself and lose steering response a lot easier. In a straight line, even on ice, that system will really shine and just find the traction and go, but stopping is going to be subpar in some conditions. Again, it just takes some getting used to. Standard types of M&S tread, like the stock tires, are going to load up with snow when trying to stop - some people will be surprised by that and it's why you see so many rear-end collisions. A good, deep AT tire will not load up nearly as bad, but they can still suffer in braking performance in wet pavement conditions. Finding a balance that is perfect is not going to happen - but you can get pretty close. There will be a tradeoff in one way or another - braking, wet weather, ice/snow and such is why it's really important to look at a tire's ratings table. You just have to figure out what you can live with in terms of shortcomings - every tire has at least one in the main condtions category.
Sarge