I can't remember if its the BP-51 or Icons, but I recall people mentioning specifically setting 4 (out of 20) being equivalent to stock, lower softer, higher firmer. While KDSS will always be firmer than non-KDSS when equiped/configured the same, wouldn't running on a lower setting offset the difference?
You will have to ask the shock guru's on this one. Basially, all shocks are designed within a certain range (rebound and compression) in mind, and within that range, they allow some degree of adjustability (such as the bp-51). Usually, you adjust the shocks to match the spring rate you choose, to give you the best ride/performance within that range. The adjustments aren't infinite.
The BP-51's can adjust both rebound and compression, whereas the kings can only adjust for compression. I suspect that the BP-51's can only adjust so much from baseline, that you won't see a huge difference.
In regards to my kings, which only adjust for compression, you would think I can adjust the firmness of my ride, but only after my suspension compresses. Basically, for me, I can adjust my ride from firm but bouncy over bumps to just straight up firm with no bounce after a bump. So basically the firmness is always there, its how the suspension reacts after I hit a bump that changes. Even then, its not mind-blowingly different.
Idealy, the adjustment is there if you already tuned your suspension (properly valved shocks w/ the correct spring rate that corresponds to the weight of your vehicle), and you want to make small, minute and incremental changes. For me, i have mine set at the softest setting or zero clicks because I want the softest setting over bumps, and because I don't have the correct springs mated to my shocks (I ended putting a lot of weight to my 4runner after I installed my suspension).
Most people don't have the time or money to tune the shocks to their specs, so they go with what others are running, or what the manufacture suggests. That is also why, people will recommend suspension mods as the last mod you do, because the demands of your vehicle (more likely the weight of your vehicle) will change over time
As for KDSS vs non-kdss go test drive both on a crappy road somewhere. There is a night and day difference in which vehicle will have a firmer ride.