Declining Student Resilience: A Serious Problem

I work in a school district...every incoming class is worse than the previous. The maturity level, the behavior, the mental fortitude is just waning away.
 
I work in a school district...every incoming class is worse than the previous. The maturity level, the behavior, the mental fortitude is just waning away.

People have been saying that for the past 75 years. Every new generation is the worst one ever. Somehow, we’re still ok.

My three boys/men (late 20’s) all seem pretty well adjusted, compared to some of the horror stories I’ve heard. Their girlfriends also all have their acts together. I have six nieces and nephews, and I’m worried about only two of them (h.s. grads, no college, lazy parents). A friend of mine has a niece and a nephew that are both bad news. Lazy, expect everything to be handed to them, etc.
 
I'm the dad of two very young kids, and I'm seeing how this all starts. There's a trend of "gentle parenting" that basically involves encouraging your kids to be emotional and avoiding anything unpleasant, and certainly not disciplining. Example: Multiple friends who won't teach their 3-yr olds to say "thank you" because they want their kids to "say it because they want to, not because someone asked them to." You'll be waiting a long time for your kids to start automatically behaving if you never instruct them in what it even means to behave...
 
All of this began when parents stopped spanking their children and instead put them in time out. When you teach a child there is no reason to be held accountable for their actions, it snowballs from there. Participation trophies for example leave the impression everyone is a winner. **** no you arent. You lost. It happens to everyone. So when that mouse shows up in your dormitory, you get called a bad name, you dont agree with someone else's opinion... you are a product of your upbringing. What I hold to be true is that once you get socked in the mouth, you tend to pay a bit better attention to your attitude and how your express it.
 
All of this began when parents stopped spanking their children and instead put them in time out. When you teach a child there is no reason to be held accountable for their actions, it snowballs from there. Participation trophies for example leave the impression everyone is a winner. **** no you arent. You lost. It happens to everyone. So when that mouse shows up in your dormitory, you get called a bad name, you dont agree with someone else's opinion... you are a product of your upbringing. What I hold to be true is that once you get socked in the mouth, you tend to pay a bit better attention to your attitude and how your express it.

lol, I'm 34 and I don't necessarily agree with the whole spanking and getting socked in the mouth portion lol....my mom did leave a handprint on my back when I was like 11 and recalling my words to her, I most certainly deserved it. Other than that though, neither of my parents laid a hand on me to discipline me. All 4 of us kids have grown up to be very mature, independent and emotionally stable/reasonable adults.

the rest of your statement I fully 100% agree with though!! Participation trophies are total bs, not keeping score is absurd. Obviously parenting is a huge part of developing a child, and at the same time it's these stupid parents who encourage all these ridiculous things that are going on in schools, and in sports programs. Society & weak ass "friendly parents" are definitely ruining their own children and later on going "I can't understand why he's like this!!!!" :pound:
 
People have been saying that for the past 75 years. Every new generation is the worst one ever. Somehow, we’re still ok.

My three boys/men (late 20’s) all seem pretty well adjusted, compared to some of the horror stories I’ve heard. Their girlfriends also all have their acts together. I have six nieces and nephews, and I’m worried about only two of them (h.s. grads, no college, lazy parents). A friend of mine has a niece and a nephew that are both bad news. Lazy, expect everything to be handed to them, etc.

lol speaking of that whole "this class/year is worse then last" you replied to. My high schools graduating class was apparently labeled "the worst graduate ceremony ever." Now that was in 2006 and I guarantee you some other class has taken that title away from us. Because like you said, people have been saying that whole "next year is worse then last year" crap for quite awhile :lol:
 
lol, I'm 34 and I don't necessarily agree with the whole spanking and getting socked in the mouth portion lol....

The spanking, or threat of it (being held accountable) was more than enough motivation for me to be a decent kid. I can proudly say I've raised a brilliant 18yo daughter into a really wonderful human being.

As for the punch in the mouth... there are a lot of "adults" who would greatly benefit from a punch in the mouth. Sure, have an opinion and be open to dialogue... but finger pointing, name calling, cancel culture would have a whole new outlook on their outward expression if they received a pimp slap to allow them to see that in fact, "words do hurt".

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The spanking, or threat of it (being held accountable) was more than enough motivation for me to be a decent kid. I can proudly say I've raised a brilliant 18yo daughter into a really wonderful human being.

As for the punch in the mouth... there are a lot of "adults" who would greatly benefit from a punch in the mouth. Sure, have an opinion and be open to dialogue... but finger pointing, name calling, cancel culture would have a whole new outlook on their outward expression if they received a pimp slap to allow them to see that in fact, "words do hurt".


ha ha ha ha, yea I have zero arguments with your stance on so many of these adults we have today. Cancelling Elmer Fudd because he carries around a gun??? HE'S A HUNTER!!!!!! lol

they scream bloody murder on silly cartoons like that, yet they'll go and see the next action movie with guns all over the place and blood being spilt in every scene. :gun5:
 
Public education sucks in many states (TX, LA, NM( and parents are unengaged and watching opinion news all the times. Raise them properly, let them be educated, and kids are just fine. I have two nieces and know so many great kids. One just got promoted at Morgan Stanley to be a chief risk officer at 27!! The other is an architect at 25 in a top firm. They are both resilient and sweet-natured. They weathered tough times really really well.

I have managed teams of college grads at a two big four consulting firms. They seem to be incredibly focused and tough but they also know what they want...no more than 50 hours of work (but super sharp) and travel and will not put up with racist crap or toxic masculinity/locker room type of talk...I like that.

States that keep cutting education funding- they make their children fail.Parents who watch opinion TV and indoctrinate kids...ditto. Stay engaged and involved, and raise decent human beings, and all will be well.

So I don't know if this stuff is really true or just sensationalized by some extra examples. I have run into hundreds and they seem sharper and more compassionate. They also love to travel abroad...to me, this is the best thing a young person can do. Maybe I have not just hung around colleges enough to get a better representative sample. Maybe.
 
I have managed teams of college grads at a two big four consulting firms. They seem to be incredibly focused and tough but they also know what they want...no more than 50 hours of work (but super sharp) and travel and will not put up with racist crap or toxic masculinity/locker room type of talk...I like that.

I work at a boutique tech consulting firm and we have many zennials. The ones that make it (which are the majority) are eager to learn, communicate well, and are responsive go-getters.
The few that don't are sheltered and spoiled and think they're going to write a mobile app and make millions, which they never do.

That said, as a company, we don't put up with racism/misogyny (aside from tech being predominantly male) and if you work OT you get PTO for those hours (well, up until you're at my level and then you're just hosed).
 
We probably saw 5-6 who were made to leave the firm....more entitled and lazy even. The vast majority are the opposite. I think it is just popular to pick on millennials or young people now. It is done more by people who are not very educated or well travelled.
 
To be fair it could also be our industries and that we filter during the hiring process.

Also the more stereotypical zennials are the ones that live their life on social media and think they should be the star of their own reality show.
 
Yeah, that is true too but painting this young generation with one brush is simply myopic. The worst example was a girl who (obviously intelligent and from a top school) refused to work past 6 PM unless she has several days notice. She also tried to never been anywhere before 9 and did not want to really do much till 10. As a Senior Associate, you simply can't do that for long. I was pretty floored but she never wavered. She last 3 months. That was really strange and unusual.

On the other hand, I had to make the rest of my people leave since otherwise, they would work from 8-8 daily....all very young. Every 2-3 weeks, I had to remind them till they started to actually get up and leave before me. There were usually 25-30 of them..not one was a slacker except that one I mentioned.
 
I'm about to enter my 28th year as a Middle School teacher. The kids haven't changed as much as the parents have. The correlation between disruptive or disengaged students and bad parenting is pretty high.
 
I read the entire thread and was surprised to see what I see as the critical point not really mentioned.

Computers as a primary teaching tool have impacted the development of human reasoning.

I'm in my 50s. I made it through K-12, undergrad and grad school without using a computer...once. Microfiche was as fancy as it got and I effectively lived at the campus library when I wasn't in class or working. The point is, I was taught to tackle any problem using simultaneous critical and abstract thought. There was simply no other way to gain and retain knowlegde.

Today, thanks to the Internet on every device, the need to develop advanced traits of reasoning are diminished. We all learn concrete thinking instinctively during the stages of childhood. However, abstract thinking must be taught...and the Age of Internet does not promote the gaining and retaining of knowledge but its actual suppression.

Type a question into Google and the answer that comes back is, for the majority, accepted as fact without deduction. That is not gaining knowledge but rather simply being exposed to an opinion that is masquerading as a fact...in other words, propaganda. Even if the answer is factually accurate, with everything instantaneously available at the touch of a button, there is no need for retention.

IMHO, this is why today's younger adults think and behave in the ways that many of you have described in prior posts. (sigh) OK, that's enough.:thanks:for letting me rant.
 
Yes, obviously, computers and the Internet have changed history. It is a very, very big step forward in human development.

We may agree based on how to interpret your comment.

Computers have moved the progress needle perhaps more than any other human invention in the modern era (language and writing would have been more profound in its day.)

Progress is not necessarily a positive in regards to reasoning. (imho) It is a clear negative that is already bearing fruit in the first two generations that were raised on computer dependency.
 
Public education sucks in many states (TX, LA, NM( and parents are unengaged and watching opinion news all the times. Raise them properly, let them be educated, and kids are just fine. I have two nieces and know so many great kids. One just got promoted at Morgan Stanley to be a chief risk officer at 27!! The other is an architect at 25 in a top firm. They are both resilient and sweet-natured. They weathered tough times really really well.

Your bias is showing. TX has a much better public school system than CA, by almost any metric, and has consistently for years. Your nieces have not weathered tough times relative to past generations, as is the topic, or even relative to present non-US populations. They haven't walked for miles with the day's supply of water balanced on their head like parts of the world still do, or had a limb amputated or even a tooth pulled without anesthesia. They haven't dodged napalm in the jungles of SEA or crawled over the rotting bodies of their friends in the trenches of the western front. They likely haven't even gone hungry a single day in their life. This is the problem. Everyone wants to think they've struggled, because they had something happen to them that happens to literally everyone, then they melt down over the smallest things because they lack the perspective to take anything in stride, like having to pay interest on their college loans, or getting your party shut down early after being warned 20 times not to let your 17yo friends chug vodka in the bathrooms of your $10k event mommy paid for (recent true story).

On the whole, it does get worse every year, in lockstep as all our lives get easier every year and the population is increasingly urbanized. Cat litter got you down? Don't sweat it, here's a motorized hunk of plastic made by sweatshop labor across the world so that you never have to scoop again! DoorDash will be here any moment with your food, just sit right there in that air-conditioned easy chair. American Boomers weren't exactly hardcore either on average but does anyone think that a single one of the millions of them ever sought counseling because they saw a mouse?

will not put up with racist crap or toxic masculinity/locker room type of talk...I like that.

Were they OK with toxic femininity? Just kidding! We learn in gender studies that that doesn't exist.

We probably saw 5-6 who were made to leave the firm....more entitled and lazy even. The vast majority are the opposite. I think it is just popular to pick on millennials or young people now. It is done more by people who are not very educated or well travelled.

Sort of like...when the people who are "educated" and well-travelled pick on those who aren't?

A humanities degree doesn't make anyone more educated than someone who can build a house or rebuild an engine, if the humanities degree holder can't even change a tire or set a mousetrap. You're confusing "degree-holder" with "educated". If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone with "toxic masculinity" in their lexicon make this mistake I'd be able to afford AAA and never have to change a tire again!
 
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Can't say that's all too shocking, unfortunately. We live in a pretty coddled society in a lot of ways and calling the cops for a mouse should get you a ticket IMO
 

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