Hold on hold on. The 4Runner 4WD system is different compared to typical 4WD systems... like in my old YJ Wrangler.
The beauty of the 4Runner 4WD system is that is uses a
Torsen Type III center differential in the transfer case, which allows for speed differences between the front and rear axles. When this differential is open, it has a standard 40% Front / 60% Rear torque split. The benefit of this system is that it
allows the driver to drive in 4WD during high traction (dry road surfaces) without damaging the driveline . You can read more about it here:
Torsen | awd cars, 4x4 vehicles, 4wd trucks, 4motion, quattro, xDrive, SH-AWD, Haldex, Torsen, wiki - How it works
Torsen(R) Traction
If you push the 'Center Differential Lock' button while in 4HI, this
locks the center differential = now both the front and rear axles will spin at the same speed, and at the same torque. This
can damage your driveline if used on high mu surfaces (dry roads) at high speeds (due to small differences in tire diameters) or cornering events (due to the front axle traveling at a larger radius vs the rear axle).
Frankly speaking, the 4Runner operates very similar to Subaru's 'Symmetrical AWD' system when the center diff is open. All 4th gen V8's have this standard... the advantage is that the 4Runner allows the driver to still lock the center differential to have 'true 4WD' (4x4), as well as engage 4LO.
Therefore:
1. There is no concern to use 4HI in any or all on-road driving conditions. You'll see a small fuel economy hit, and some increased tire wear, but that's about it. It's recommended by Toyota to drive in 4HI on a monthly basis.
2. You should never engage the center diff lock while driving on-road, unless it is a low speed low traction situation - example: you're pulling your wife's car out of a snowy ditch.
3. The only difference between the V8 vs V6 4WD system is that the V6 gives you the option to operate in RWD mode as well.
Hope this helps clear things up.