I realized that during this exercise, I was neglecting the orientation of inlet/outlet nipples.
The only reasonable way to get the cooler to fit is what I showed earlier, but that had the nipples pointing down, which, at least per B&M instructions, is not recommended due to risk of air bubbles.
So I think this was the final straw; like [MENTION=69868]LittleCaesar[/MENTION] said, this may be a case of bigger is not better.
I might still consider putting it in the only other orientation I can envision, which is ahead of the AC line, like [MENTION=28910]HiluxSurf SSR-G18[/MENTION] is recommending, but that creates a huge air gap between the AC condenser and trans cooler, and may not even fit behind the grille without mods to the grille, which I don't feel like doing.
I guess I can also mount it very low, like this -
Project SportRunner - Transmission Cooler, but I'm not sure it'll fit on my truck, without the fat lip bumper.
So it may very well be Ebay-bound.