Okay boys and girls...are ya ready? I found it!!!

arty:
Unbolting Spare Parts - Round II - I removed three exhaust system body-mounted heat shields, a very small skid plate protecting a U-joint, and another metal part...the specifics of which escape me as I write this. This was my second round of taking stuff off. I was determined to take this truck apart until the noise stopped. Test drive - rattle alive and well. Fudge.
It was rattling to beat the band as I came back to the house so I tried something I hadn't done yet (because I didn't have a proper rack or lift.) I ran it up on the ramps, set the parking brake, put my son in the cockpit, had him step on the brake, put the truck in drive, and run the rpm's up to 1400. Seeking my raw courage merit badge, I crawled underneath. Rattle rattle rattle. It seemed to be in the vicinity of the rear, driver-side cat. I pushed on the heat shield with the wooden handle of a rubber mallet. The sound did not stop but did change significantly.
Despite it being solidly mounted, I removed the heat shield. The evil rattle is dead.
I remain mystified. The shield was rock solid when in place. I've examined it thoroughly. There is nothing missing, bent or deformed. The fasteners and the pieces are rock solid. None of the pieces come in contact with each other except where they are securely fastened together. I can't for the life of me figure out how the sound was being generated. Given that there's nothing "wrong" I haven't decided what I would modify if I decide to re-install it.
I have learned that just because something is solidly mounted, seemingly immovable and in good repair does NOT mean that it cannot rattle or generate a sound that sounds like a rattle. Obviously. But that can make it damned hard to locate. Four visits to a dealership, two to an independent shop, as well as three drive-way sessions, and I think all of us were looking for something loose, missing, bent, or broken.
I really appreciate everyone's ideas and all the moral support. I hope you had fun too, because I've got another mystery noise to tackle! Woohoo! :eyebrows: I'll put it in a separate post.