I found my 4R to be MUCH better on snow covered roads with the center diff locked and the VSC off. I also own a Jeep Grand Cherokee V8 with a full time 4WD system, and while that has much more agressive tires, (my 4Runner is only a couple of months old, and has its original tires) it was SO much more stable in the snow than the 4R; that is until I tried the diff lock switch. At first, I though the problem with the 4R was the somewhat restrained OE tires, but the car felt somewhat unstable without the diff locked. With the center diff locked, the Jeep and the 4R are now quite comparable in the snow. The option of push button lockup is great. As I was driving in the snow, and the roads became a little cleared, I unlocked the center diff.. When they were completely clear, back to 2WD.
I know in my Jeep, I was able to get (took a bit of doing to find one so equipped,) a rear LSD. It came as a package with skid plates and tow hooks. The full time 4WD system is still not the best, as it has a tendency to pull to one side under hard acceleration on slippery surfaces, but I am very glad to have the LSD. The dealers I shoped at thought I was nuts to even ask about it, after all, it is a "Jeep". What BS. Does the 4 Runner have LSD's at either end?