You can. a) Locking after shifting out of park and b) moving above 12mph are independent of each other. Same goes for c) unlocking when shifting into park or d) unlocking when the key is turned from 'On' to 'Acc' or 'Lock'.
You can enable or disable anyone of the four options individually. Where the shifter is set (park or out of park) and whether you're holding down the lock or unlock side of the master switch will determine which one of the four you're trying to enable or disable.
-a) Shift out Park locking, lock side of the master switch, shifter in park.
-b) Locking above 12mph, lock side of the master switch, shifter out of park.
-c) Shift into Park unlocking, unlock side of the master switch, shifter in park.
-d) Unlocking when key is turned from 'On' to 'Acc' or 'Lock', unlock side of master switch, shifter out of park.
When my 4Runner was delivered, it did not lock automatically and unlocked when shifted into park. Started the engine once after repeated attempts to program the automatic lock and its been locking when shifting out of park and above 12mph since. By default, it's suppose to lock when shifting out of park.
IIRC, some members reported, you need to have the timing exact, even half a second off throws off programming. Try using the flashing ":" on the clock to time it.