I own a 2005 Off Road Xterra. I have been researching a Trail Edition purchase for the past few months, this forum has been a great resource, thanks to all the members. This is my first post to the forum, I could not resist sharing my thoughts given my situation with my Xterra and Nissan.
The 2005 forward Nissan V6 has nice power, and with the locking rear diff the Xterra is a monster off road, I routinely off road in the Sierras, and the last two summers I literally crawled around a stuck GMC Truck and Jeep Grand Cherokee (I did offer to help them too!)
But the 2005 forward Xterras, Frontiers and Pathfinders have a defect in the radiator/transmission, the radiator fails and coolant leaks into the trannie destroying the transmission. If you google Nissan Transmission failure, you will see that there are class action lawsuits all over the place, there is a recent New York Times blog that summarizes the issue too.
Nissan extended the warranty on the issue to 80,000 miles - so guess how many miles my Xterra had when the radiator failed? 84,000. Nissan North America refused to repair the issue, and they were rude about it too, claiming there was nothing wrong with the design in spite of their warranty extension. So now I have an Xterra that Blue Books at $9,500 but needs a $5,000 transmission, a total dog. I would never buy another Nissan.
That issue aside, as far as your other questions, based on my test drive of the Trail it has much better on-road manners, I like the stiff truck feel ride of the Xterra and the Bilsteins it has, but the Trail had a nice ride, and by all accounts it is a monster off road, add a 2" lift, aggressive tires, budbuilt winch mount and winch, that is all you could ask for for a great off roader which will also keep the wife and kids comfortable. And the Xterra has a pretty cheap feel on the interior, hard plastic, and the middle console and rear cupholders broke within the first year. Oh, the Xterra also has crap mileage, even on a long freeway road trip to Seattle I could not get over 18 mpg.
So, I think with the poor interior quality, customer service, and major mechanical failures across three of their most popular vehicle lines over several years, you might regret not sucking it up and paying the extra dollars for a Toyota.