Depression

[MSRP.]

I have not been as far "down the hole" as others, but I've learned a lot about myself and have become highly disciplined with what I've learned from listing to Joe Rogan's podcast.

So learning about all sorts of crap through Joe's podcasts, exercise, eating well, less social media and healthy habits like sauna, hot yoga and hacking my sleeping habits have all yielded great results for me personally. I do not panic like others in times of crisis, but it has also resulted in what others see as a stone-facade. I'm okay with that.

If you are not sleeping well, or getting the right types of sleep, here's a synopsis on how to hack your sleep:
The Joe Rogan Experience - Sleep Expert and Neuroscientist Dr. Matthew Walker - Podcast Notes

 

[Ray Dunakin]

People's support and heart-to-heart talk help to understand that the world needs a person. I think people suffering from depression have psychological traumas that are associated with childhood.

Some do. In others, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain. And some folks have both issues.

 

[Gecko]

I have also been there and struggled with depression.

One thing that really helped me when I felt especially hopeless was volunteering at my local animal shelter. If you're not an animal person, that might not help you much, but even when you're low LOW, there's something about going to pet and walk dogs who have literally NOTHING that can help to make you realize what you do have. Just showing up with a leash makes many of them insanely happy, and that's contagious.

Doing this helped me to more closely personally examine my circumstances and priorities, and take more control over my happiness. Not sure if that helps at all - my .02.

 

[alaskaman]

Ray, you are a great storyteller. Really enjoyed your photos and posts.

Depression as many of us have experienced can be a threat to our well being, daily life and relationships. Frequently talking it out with a trained professional (yes how do you find a good therapist) is the answer. I got lucky back in my twenties seems like a minute and 40 years ago at the same time I was hospitalized with major depression. It took years to extricate my self from the family relationships which contributed to my profound confusion and grief. I lost my dad when I was 17 and 7 years later I found myself in a hospital without answers and a psychiatrist who cared. I became an R.N. in many ways due to that experience and now after 30 years of being an R.N. I have learned that is cheaper to talk to someone than to buy drugs and alcohol to try to deal with the bad feelings.

The medications used to treat depression came about after many years of the American Medical Assn believing that depression was a chemical imbalance and not a flaw in character or just being a bad person. For 50 years the AMA stood against the prejudice directed at people who were labeled as having something wrong with them. Now millions of people combat depression with many techniques among them medication. These drugs save lives and allow an opportunity for people to find out the conflicts which lead them to become depressed. They do this by keeping a neuro transmitter (serotonin) in the brain rather than let it circulate. By increasing the level of serotonin depression improves. While, yes they do have side effects, when ya can't eat or get out of bed or have thoughts of hurting yourself the obvious choice is medication supervised by an MD. When I was depressed, these meds did not exist and I gutted it out talking every week with a doctor. It took y e a r s to untangle the web of lies and get free. It was a long journey but I walked out of there free able to live my life and man have I.

My experience is a journey like many many of your own. Its sheer will isn't it? We are capable, competent men and women. There are answers and there are rocks in the journey but you own your life and you live it as best we can day to day.

Fate favors the Bold.

 

[acc1987]

I myself have finally climbed out of a pretty deep hole these last few of years. I had the benefit of a wife that dug in with me to find the root cause of my problems. One thing led to another and I learned about narcissism. I realized that my parents didn't really care about me. They only acted like it when it made them look good to others or it was socially expected of them. My folks constantly cut me down, criticized me and my decisions. Then I had a couple of childhood traumas which they just flat out denied even happened which ultimately led to me being an emotional mess. I was socially awkward and didn't know how to communicate with people. My parents only loved me when I made them look good. All this led to living with insecurity and depression with a splash of anxiety. This was my life from 14 till about 38 years old. I turned to drugs ( prescribed and not) and alcohol to cope. Of course this made things much worse in the long run.

A big part of my solution was deciding to go no contact with my parents. Man was this was a game changer. I no longer had all the negative reinforcement and life improved almost instantly. I had a lot of fallout from that decision because of the family cult thing that society pressures us to be a lifetime member of. Once you leave the cult your an outcast. They even started rumors that I had brain damage and thats why I don't talk to them anymore, crazy stuff they come up with. Anyway I stuck it out and two years later still going strong without a single contact. Still no regrets. Once I decided to remove all the negative people from my life things just kept improving. Some people you can't remove of course but thats where I learned to set boundaries. This was another game changer. There are so many people out there with no boundaries that I had to regulate them for myself if that makes any sense.

Some other things I did that really helped me...

The first one was I ascribed to the idea that if I wasn't born with it, by God I don't have to die with it. Emotional or physical. The body and mind is an amazing thing and given the proper tools to heal, they will. Having said that I eat and drink the cleanest food and water I can find and when somebody needs to talk something out I'll listen because somebody listened when I needed it.

Someone else had mentioned hobbies and exercise. It was a huge help for me. I started training Brazillian Jiu Jitsu. I haven't really sat down and thought about it in my own words how to describe what happens on the mat, but its amazing. Of course I'm getting in shape, which makes me feel good but theres more to it. You have to really dig deep to stick with it and the interpersonal growth that I experience was and still is surprising to me. Once your feet touch the mat there is nothing else you can really think about cuz somebody is gonna be trying to choke you out! lol but seriously there is a great primer on the subject here.

I realize of course that everybody is different with a different life story. My advice is start asking questions. Questions about your past, parents, traumas etc. Nobody suffers from depression/anxiety for no reason. I don't mean to oversimplify anybodys situation by saying that. What I am saying is that my experience tells me that the root problem needed to be discovered and once it was I could square up to it, face it and start healing.

I just pray that folks can get their life back without using pharmaceuticals. There's no such thing as "side effects". There's only undesired direct effects.
I spent some time in my 30's as a Christian counselor so ultimately thats my perspective. James 5:16 tells me to confess my faults to another so that I may be healed. It doesn't tell me to take drugs so that I may be healed. Find somebody to talk to. There are people out there that care. If anyone needs somebody to bounce ideas off of I'm available.

Jiu Jitsu for the win. (Brown Belt here)

I haven't had a rough life on the surface growing up in a pretty supportive family, but lost most friends suddenly on different occasions to death including my best man a month after my wife and I got married. That was just about rock-bottom for me. It left me in a pretty dark place going into my late 20's.

Wrestled through college so grappling helped shape me as an adult. As soon as I started JiuJitsu, there's no feeling like it. The way I explain it to people is that you have to stay 100% focused in the moment because if you don't, your teammate/opponent is going to take it to you. It's one place you can express yourself without words being a individual-based sport while physically exerting energy.

 

[oldmarsh]

do you talk to god? he has all answers if you believe in him.

 

[404NotFound]

Yep, severe clinical depression and anxiety here. Have had it since puberty basically but was not diagnosed until 2017.

Went through the stereotypical phase for a few years of covering the feelings with alcohol and overall stupid/dangerous decisions. Justifying it with the fact that the more poison I put in my body, the shorter the lifespan, and the least time spent in pain.

I always enjoyed driving and used to have a 2001 Cobra. It was a surprisingly short amount of time before I figured out that it didn't really make me happy, and nothing did. They were just distractions and nothing more.

Fast forward to 2015, I get married, get my T4R, go on with life. I realized even with higher mileage and scratches and dings I loved my 4R more than I ever did my Cobra. I haven't even really got to take it off road yet and I still adore it.

2017 I finally talk to my doctor and get some medication. Sadly the SSRIs will mess with other aspects of your life....but they do help. As my head got better I realized why I liked my 4R so much. I knew it would be there for me. I liked being surrounded by things and people I can trust. My son was born in 2018, and that changed everything. Sold the car, started eating healthy, never drink. Any time I feel the way I used to, I look at that little boy and he immediately lifts my spirits.

My advice for anyone who is suffering:
-Medicate. I get it, people don't like medicine or think it's weakness or whatever. I was that way. It's not all rainbows and unicorns after I pop one. It just feels like where live used to be sharp like an ice pick, not it's more like a ball point pen.
-Don't do it alone. Talk to someone. Doesn't matter if its family/friend/doctor/pet. Get your feelings out and it will become easier to actually get the help you need.
-If you are religious, pray. If not, do breathing exercises and calm down.
-Try to focus on the good things. Not like "oh I love my new TRD Pro" good. We all know when your brain doesn't fire on all cylinders these things mean absolutely nothing. Think about family, friends, kids, pets.
-If your insurance covers it definitely do therapy. If insurance doesn't (like mine) find a friend who will listen without doing the pity party thing.

Probably the biggest thing I can add is be rational. Don't seek a permanent solution to temporary problems or feelings. I know all to well how it feels to think you are worth absolutely nothing to nobody. Call a friend, a hotline, police, pizza place, whoever. Just don't make a decision based on your own bias towards yourself. Besides, your dog, cat, bird, turtle, horse, whatever will wonder why you're gone.

 

[alaskaman]

I have been suffering from depression. What can you recommend to me to reduce it and feel better?

Talk with your doctor or find a recommended licensed psychotherapist. It works for millions of us. Don't let it get worse...

 

[isabellamor]

I tend to keep myself busy to avoid thinking or getting sad. Always make sure to have someone to talk to about what's happening to your life -- someone that you can trust and will understand the situation.

 

[rallypoint_1]

My wife and I are separated at the moment. Hopefully not too long. Anyways...I have been going to therapy. I feel better and not as depressed. There are moments I feel good and others that I feel bad, sad, angry....

I have never been a fan of talking to someone but that sentiment has changed.

I would suggest therapy to anybody that feels depressed. It could also be covered by your health insurance. Don’t wait!!!!

 

[ran]

I jumped into Therapy, explaining most of my friends were gone and no one to really talk to. It took a while to open up about everything going on in my life. this lasted a good year and half. Best time in my life. last appointment of the day, coffee and pie sometimes. Married now, wish I was still in consoling.
____________________
2007 SE V6 Titanium

 

[Rus.K]

After graduating from school, I sometimes had depression. But lately, I've had it quite often. I realized that it was time to fight it effectively. I read about good ways to deal with this. I started exercising regularly, spending more time outdoors and with friends, and I also took something like CBD capsules. In a few weeks I got better and I haven't had any symptoms of depression for about a month. It's very cool because it's really a very nasty disease

Good to hear man! Exercising is a type of therapy I swear. Does wonders for most.

 

[alaskaman]

I spent many months talking with a psychiatrist due to tragedies. It worked I am now through it to my life but it takes time. It is so good to be free of those things. Have faith. Talking works.

 

[BorotHex]

Everyone is different, but here is descending order for what helps most people:

1.) no alcohol, nicotine, or drugs. You need a baseline or most of what is listed below will not help you. It can take 6-18 months for your body to find its baseline, and you may not ever get back to perfect. But it’s critical everything builds on your real baseline.

2.) 60-75 minutes walking every day with no excuses to miss. If you absolutely have to miss a day, spread the time out and add to other days to get it back. It takes 6 weeks for the body to get it that you’re really doing this now. It takes 6 months for the brain and body to truly adapt and start running optimally. You will begin to notice mental and physical changes at this point. It takes 12 months to get to a steady state where you really know where you stand. It may take another 6 months, mentioned above, for you to observe your new baseline due to lack of drugs and exercise.

3.) men, 8-12 glasses of clean and chemical free water every day with no excuses. Distilled and reverse osmosis are the best.

4.) cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR if you have triggers that cause anxiety or major mood shifts. It is important to learn the difference in anxiety and depression during therapy. It’s critical that you learn the difference so that your therapist can help you defeat them. And you will learn how to defeat them. Make sure and start with a therapist that is well reviewed and trained in EMDR.

5.) saliva test to tell if you have one of two levels of genetic defect with MTHFR gene. If you do, you need to take methylfolate, and I personally believe also methylcobalamin (methyl B12), or you can have all kinds of mainly mental problems. It’s rather common.

6.) eat smart. You don’t need a radical overhaul of your diet. Read up on guidelines for calories, saturated fat, and eat as little sugar as you can stand, as sugar is literally poison to your body.

7.) learn how to truly think and act positively. Start by asking your therapist if you don’t know where to start.

About 85% of people will find themselves happy and/or content by doing this. 10% are usually lying to themselves and professionals about doing the list and claim it doesn’t work. These are the people that have to repeatedly hit rock bottom or die for the cycle to stop. There is a very small remaining group of only around 5% who need medication. If you are given medication up front, your therapy is not going to address the underlying problems, and most likely through side effects make your problem worse.

The process of becoming happy can be simple and easy to perform when you decide you’re done and grow balls to stop at nothing. It’s simple, but the mind will tell you many times over that it’s not working, it’s hopeless, etc. Remember it’s a simple list and you’re not a *****, and do it.

I come from a long line of highly educated pill pushers and have observed on my own that they are almost always wrong. Only about 5% of people need their services and mindset. That is my opinion and I stand by it based on education and experimental evidence.

I don’t say good luck because it’s not luck. I’ve seen it over, and over, and over. Just go do it.

 

[RichinRidgewood]

2013 ?

Was Prozac available then?

 

[AuSeeker]

2013 ?

Was Prozac available then?

Prozac was approved by the FDA in December 1987.

 

[RichinRidgewood]

Prozac was approved by the FDA in December 1987.

Probably it will be available “over the counter” this year they way things have been going.

 

[Adesanja]

Wow, doomer topic. Drive depression away, but no alcohol or drugs. Make sure you get a private health insurance. Here is why it is worth it. Highly recommend to read the article.

Alcohol and drugs will lead to even stronger depression in the long run :yield:

 

[elsparkodiablo]

Constant battle for me, so I try to appreciate the good things where I can.

 

[blairracd]

You are very strong for posting this. You are not alone. My mental health has been ****ed for the last year or so because of the military. If you are comfortable with it, I would as well try to encourage you to seek help.

Through our mental health clinic I see a psychologist and psychiatrist. I see them regularly to talk about my issues, and maintain my medications. Overall, it’s helpful. Shit still sucks, but it’s not as bad and the tools to help work through my issues and the meds make me not want to off myself as much every day.

Again, you’re not alone.