Yes you can use Dot 4 instead of Dot 3 but not the reverse. That is why some manufacturers will sell Dot 3 & 4 fluid because it is actually dot 4 but can be used in dot 3. The only one you need to stay away from is Dot 5, this is a totally different chemistry(silicone based) and so cannot be mixed. All the others Dot 3,4 & 5.1 are Glycol based.
The dot rating is a measure of the dry and wet boiling points of the fluid, "wet" being when the fluid has absorbed all the moisture it can from the air. "Dry" of course is the new clean fluid with no moisture. Dot 4 is higher rated.
Just like synthetic engine/ATF/Refridgeration oil, synthetic brake fluid is better.
I like the Valvoline Dot 3&4 synthetic, for around $8 its good value for money.
You can test the brake fluid with a test strip that indicates the moisture content, or just change it every 2 years or so, this is regardless of the mileage accrued in that time. For $8 every couple years the money saved in corroded and failed brake parts and rubbers is well worth it.