This is a long wall of text, sorry.
TL : DR - I missed the description on my issue in the instructions (thanks to whatever it is I have wrong with my brain), and now need to switch to the RTD sensor. If it still doesn't work, I'll put the mechanical fan back on (my vacations is ending soon) and order a different fan controller. This is all a process of testing and learning what works. I'm not giving up, lol not even close. This fan works and is amazing to say the least. If you want the blow by blow read below:
Alright, figure I'd update with a bit of info. Got the foam sealing redone today and finished all the wiring for the fan and it's controller. Did the fan test to make sure I have all the parameters correct. Then I set out to "learn" the widget man's fan controller (will describe later).
The fan test has 2 modes. Switch 7 on, sends the fan to 90% of its power. Let me tell you it does, and it move serious air, more then a fully locked up fan clutch. Downside, pulls nearly 75 amps iirc. So to my knowledge there is no alt capable of putting out that amperage at idle. So I had to raise the throttle to get it the proper juice. Good news is, there is zero reason it should ever go on full blast unless you are testing it like I did (and what I'll describe later).
Switch dip switch 1 to off and the fan will drop to the slowest speed possible. It did. So I have all the correct dip switch settings. Fantastic.
Ok now, I have all the repair manuals for the 4runner and iirc it doesn't give the voltage drop in resistance (I'll check tomorrow) as Temps increase. The minimum set point between fan on (slow ramping speed) to full boar for the widget man controller is 30mV (milivolt) with a 5v reference signal (what toyota uses on the 5vz). Issue is, there is from what I can tell on the ecm temp sensor (not gauge) is a somewhat flat spot between 190°f and 220°f ie the mV is less then 30mV between those temps. So for a tiny like 30 seconds my engine got to 220°f. I shat a brick, jammed the widget man into full speed test mode, and it cooled off the engine, no joke in under 30 seconds!! Back down to 188.
But still, I was perplexed as to why it didn't accept the set points I taught it. (190 fan on and 205 fan full speed). After that one stint of 220 freaked me out so I never let it get any hotter then 205 for an extremely short time (think heat soak on a 110 summer day). Thinking I did some sort of set up wrong, I cleared the memory and tried again. On set point 188 and full speed 205. Ok fantastic, it took the settings! Great! Oh snap the tstat opens around 180 and the upper hose where the ecm's temp sensor is located once engine is up to temp never goes below 190. Crap, now the fan never shuts off. Ok well it works for now, moved on to the other tests. Ac fan turn on, bam works like a charm, maybe to good lol. Sweet. I have the fan set to 50% power plus what ever fan speed it is currently at.
My ADHD and OCD (CDO for those that must have it in alphabetical order) won't leave well enough along. Car has cooled off significantly now. Try relearning again. Failed. Well turns out the instructions tells you if you can't set the on and hi speeds, the mV drop isn't enough.
Here is what caused this situation: I have something that blanks out stuff when I'm reading things, and randomly capitalizing letters when I'm hand writing things (have had this since pre-school) dont know or remember what its called. Well there was a snipit in the instructions that describes the exact situation I'm having, to a T. I felt like a total idiot for a lack of a better term.
So sorry for the wall of text. I'm going to switch to the widget man's RTD (FPMS) temp sensor tomorrow and bolt it to a stud on the upper water neck. Then go through the relearn process again. Looking at the rtd's temp to resistance to 5v drop between middle of 185 and 194 (190 on my scangauge) ~1.115v and 203 .96v should be close to 130mV drop. It should work. I'm afraid to set the max on speed anywhere near 215-220. But then again when I did hit 220 the dash temp needle was still dead smack in the middle.
One other note, the new tstat works 100% better then what ever I had in there. I mean, scan gauge hit 188 and the tstat was already open. Never had that happen before. So that is where I'm at now.