You fix it by patching it, many land rove folk cut sections and weld new bits of metal in, and i would suggest this cause the replacement frames aren't readily available for 4runners.
Yeah, I would suggest finding a local welding shop and talking to the guys there about how to fix it. I may be wrong about this, but I think an actual welder would be much better to talk to than a mechanic that welds. These old guys in weld shops are gold mines of experience, much more so than a young mechanic whose primary job isn't welding.
You might also ask about making symmetric repairs (e.g. if you weld a patch on the inside of that member, then do the same on the other side whether it needs it or not) in order to avoid generating asymmetric stiffness in the frame. You likely already have that because of the rust, but that can cause unaccounted for stress risers, especially if you drive the vehicle hard, or off road in it. They may say you don't need that, which is fine, but it comes to mind as something to ask (especially for as big a patch as you will need).
Another thing to ask a welder about would be stress relieving the welds. Usually this entails cooking the whole frame after welding, but obviously you can't do that; but they might have some tricks to help relieve stress in situ.
Anyway, I am not an expert on welding, but it pays to ask some thoughtful questions, and get the guys talking. They will usually teach you a bit of what they know, and you will understand the situation much better. Just go in humble and teachable and most will be happy to talk to you.
BTW, I just used that Rustoleum stuff too, and it isn't that great. It seems to be pretty sensitive to the balance of existing rust, and amount of paint you put on. Some parts I applied it to seem good and hard, and others, the crap just peels off like it didn't bond at all. I think I took too much rust off those areas.
Keep us informed PSUArcher. I am really interested to hear what a welder says about it if you can find one.