Hey don't feel bad. Back when I had my last 4th gen I was was at a bar and had a sudden urge to take a dump. I ran to the bathroom and after assessing the situation I was in, I had three choices. Hold it for a mile or so back to the house, have a VERY messy time there, or hit the ladies room which I could already tell had occupants.
So I do the clenched cheek speed walk to the back lot where I had parked in the first corner spot. I get in and back out, but as I'm backing out I start turning immediately. Premature turning means I start walking it up the curb. Me being in the situation I was in, and being in a 4runner, I think screw the curb and I give it some gas. At this point I can feel that apparently I had hooked my front bumper on one of those bastard 3' yellow concrete filled steal poles. This rips about half of my bumper forward.
Fuuuuuuuq, was my first thought, but the reality of what would happen next if I stayed and looked at it turned Fuuuuuuuq to Fuuuuuuq IT! I hit the gas and bee-lined it to the house where I stormed in shaking and quaking my speed walking clenched self to the nearest can where I did "The Move". (where you pull pants and underwear as you are sitting and SHtting.) This is a highly synchronized move that if you do it correctly makes for no fuss no muss. Otherwise, well you get the picture. Lucky for me it was performed flawlessly.
I finish up and went out to assess my damage. Yup, my bumper was pretty much folded in the middle. The passenger side was attached, but the driver side was ripped forward. I fold it back in place, zip tied the hell out of it, and proceeded to the bar to assess that situation. I get back there and pick up my broken bits of fog light and broken bracket bits and such and go back in to continue the night.
I thought about how lucky I was that a police officer didn't see me hauling ass from the bar with my plastic bumper panel pointing straight forward. I would have passed a sobriety test as I was only 3 sips into my first beer when the urge arose. But I probably would have opted to run to the can landing myself with fleeing charges. "Please sir, I'm about to Sht myself. Please follow, come in, and we can hash it out in a few minutes" probably doesn't fly too well.