The TRUTH about Towing (!!!)
I see lots of seriously bad errors and misconceptions here... some from Toyota, others from posters. So, here's some fixes.
(1) The thing on the back of the V8 4Runner, which Toyota calls a "Weight Distribution Hitch", ISN'T. The part on the SUV is the
"Hitch Mount", it's not a
"Hitch" of any kind. The Hitch connects your trailer to your TV (Tow Vehicle). There is an important difference between the "7K" and "5K" Hitch Mounts... the nice one, standard on the V8s, is attached to the frame in a lot more places. It obviously helps to spread around the loads (PLURAL!) which the Hitch impose on the Hitch Mount, so you could say that's it's a "Weight Distribution" Hitch Mount. But it's not a Hitch!
(2) The actual 'Hitch' is the collection of parts which connect your Trailer frame to the Hitch Mount. The Toyota-provided
Weight Bearing ball mount is an ultra-simple example of one of these parts. A
Weight Distribution Hitch is a spring-loaded connection device, providing
CRITICAL benefits when towing a heavy trailer.
If it's not spring-loaded, it ain't a WDH!!!
The pupose of the spring bars and chains in a genuine WDH is to unload the rear axle of the TV, and restore the proper amount of load to the front axle. If you properly put about 15% of your trailer weight on the hitch (e.g., about 600 lbs for a 4000 lb Trailer) it's gonna press the back of your 4Runner down... and push the front of your 4Runner up. This means that the front tires don't have the proper weight on them anymore, your ability to steer and brake is dramatically reduced.
If you used heavier springs or air shocks to make the 'line' from trailer -> hitch -> hitch mount -> rear axle -> front axle *APPEAR* more level, you're only hiding the problem: the rear axle is still overloaded. In fact, by using springs or air to raise the rear axle, you've made the problem slightly worse. (The raised-back-up rear axle will take an even larger portion of the load.)
A WDH is a torque device. Although the hitch needs to have the 600 lbs of 'dead' weight on it, the spring bars create a twisting force to unload the rear axle and put a lot of that load forward to the TV front axle, and backwards to the Trailer axle(s). For proper handling and braking, you need that weight on the front axle. A properly adjusted WDH will divide that 600 lbs more evenly... 200 lbs more on the TV front axle, 200 more on the TV rear axle, and maybe about 200 'pushed' back onto the Trailer axle. If the Trailer has multiple axles, they'd split the loading which is pushed back.
Without the WDH, the loading would typically be about 200 LESS on the front axle (that's the main problem); maybe 100 less on the Trailer axle (due to the whole Trailer tilting down towards the Hitch), and all of this being added to the rear axle: 600 lbs tongue weight plus 300 more unloaded from the TV front axle and the Trailer axle. 900 lbs MORE, while the front axle is 200 lbs LESS... see the problem?
The "Weight Bearing" ball mount which comes with the 4Runner is slightly worse than a dead weight load: Because the ball ends up several inches away from vehicle, it imposes more of a torque load (pushing the back of the 4Runner down more) than it would if it was closer to the rear axle. Of course, you can't really make it shorter, because you need to have some Trailer Clearance room for turns. I'd be comfortable using the el-cheapo Ball Mount up to maybe about 2000 lbs Trailer weight (~300 lbs on the tongue), but it's a really a poor choice above that. And maybe the only reason why I'd be comfortable is because I don't have to

:
SUMMARY: If you're talking about towing even 3000 lbs with a short-wheelbase SUV (i.e., the 4Runner), it's
insanity not to use a WDH! I'm
TELLING you all to spend a few hundred bucks and a few extra minutes in set-up. It's money well spent: it could save your vehicle (list price well into the 30s) AND your Trailer, AND your Trailer's contents, and maybe your life.
(3) Sorry to bring the bad news, but I don't think that a 4Runner is suitable for towing a 7K trailer in the ways most of us would want to drive. It's not the Horsepower (although I did get the V8 and Tranny-cooler with towing in mind). It's the
wheelbase.
The 4Runner is a great mid-size SUV... not a monster truck. When you're pulling a really heavy trailer, and it suddenly wants to go a different direction than your 4Runner, it can rapidly lead to a really terrifying question: who's doing the towing, and who's being towed? Our 4 tire patches are just too close together on ground to really
control a too-heavy Trailer.
You can go slow. You can stay at sea level. You can do a lot of driving changes to "make up" for a trailer which is too big. But, if someone stops on a downhill switchback corner for no obvious reason, and you just happened to be reaching for the coffee or picking out a CD at that moment, and you just happened to be going a bit faster than you really meant to, you could suddenly spot a big Trailer along side your TV. That's not a pretty sight.
There's no way I'd want to haul a 6K Trailer with my 4Runner on a regular basis. It's not the engine, or the Transmission, or the Transfer case: It's the relatively short wheelbase, leading to increasingly unsatisfactory odds of losing control and getting cut out of your dragged-off-the-road-into-the-ditch-by-your-too-big-Trailer by Ambulance and Highway Patrol personnel. IMHO, even 5K Trailer weight would call for really low speeds, really long following distances, and a strong preference for flat terrain. Yeah, if you want to drive like a OTR Trucker then the V8 with the Tranny Cooler can do it... but you're either gonna be COMITTED to driving that way, or you're gonna be unsafe.
(4) BTW, also get the best brake controller you can find. As with the WDH, it's insane not to spend a few extra $ when you've got so much riding down the road and depending on it.