I struggled with this as well...
when I was looking to lift my TE. Ultimately, I went with Icon coilovers in the front and SAW coils in the rear with Icon monotube shocks. Here was my logic then, and what I would do differently if I did it again.
I knew that I wanted the front to be firmer to eliminate the front end dive during hard braking along with getting a mild lift. Spring rate as a basis of comparison is a little misleading. As pointed out above, the vehicle dynamics will be dependent on the amount of preload/lift on the coilovers. It was easier to think in terms of % difference from stock. Icons were advertised as being about 10% firmer than stock with 650#/in springs, and since I knew I wasn't adding an aftermarket bumper, I really didn't want the ride to be any firmer than necessary. I had also read that Icons were very smooth - a lot of debate in fact about whether Icons use progressive rate springs. While I don't think 4Runner coilovers use progressive rate springs, I believed that Icon as a leader in the market would do their homework to dial in the coilovers - this was confirmed by many who had already installed Icons on their 5th Gen 4Runners and were very happy with their choice. With about 3" of lift in the front, the ride is very controlled and smooth. Yes, you feel the smaller ruts and imperfections of the road a bit more, but that's the tradeoff when trying to get rid of the brake dive and mushiness of the front suspension. Personally, I still feel this was the best possible choice for me, even though they were more expensive than the Toytec/Bilsteins, OMEs, or OW/Radflo. As an aside, since I wasn't sure how much lift I would want, I decided I wanted adjustable coilovers. This would also help compensate for the added weight of an eventual winch, and allow me to fine tune ride height.
Regarding the rear, I went with SAW coils and Icon monotubes. Different from the front, the stock rear suspension seemed plenty firm to me, particularly since I don't load up the 4Runner very often and I don't tow. Even though the SAW coils were the softest springs out there (about 10% increase over stock), the rear is noticeably firmer. I've gotten used to it, but in hindsight, I would consider doing a Daystar 1.5" lift in the rear with the Icon monotube shocks. I would still want to upgrade the rear shocks to match the dampening characteristics of the front coilovers.
I know it might not make sense to spend $1,100 in the front and $300 in the rear if you go with rear spacers/shocks, but when you think about it, the front end is what really needs the upgrade.
Just my 2 cents. Good luck!