2wd 4Runner here. Lots of 2wd 4R's running around here in SoCal.
I wanted a reliable, simple, and rwd/solid-rear-axle vehicle for towing a single-axle dump trailer and hauling my bikes and other gear. My second choice was a 2wd Tacoma. The 4Runner is just better as a DD and for road trips vs the Tacoma.
As the 4R is also my only vehicle, and it's a commute vehicle, I never intentionally planned to take my rig offroad. That's what my Niner Jet9 RDO is for. :wink2:
As for the Highlander, it's not pre-wired for a trailer brake controller, and the AT cooler is a dealer-installed item. I'm just not a fan of transverse mounted V6 engines either. My GF's 2nd gen Acura RDX handles better overall than my 4R, but the RDX feels way more front heavy through corners. Though the 2wd Runner is tall & top-heavy compared to crossovers, it actually feels fairly well balanced.
Yeah, the gas mileage is pretty much the same as a 4wd 4R, but I don't miss the extra 275-350 lbs (depending on trim) that comes with 4wd. The 2wd 4R actually has a slightly better (hp) power-to-weight ratio than the GX 460, and just slightly worse with torque. The 2wd 4R felt plenty quick even before installing the sprint booster, but the SB really enhances the driving experience.
The biggest reason I could see to get 4wd was resale value, but I plan on keeping this rig as my daily driver for the next 12-15 years, and I drive at least 15k miles per year.