The verdict is in. She drove the 4Runner Limited 4WD and sadly, she was not thrilled. While she did say it drove better than the Pilot, she found the 3rd row seat setup to be a pain and didn't like the Nav screen being nearly flush with the dash (problem with sunlight hitting it). Our kids didn't like the lack of backseat leg room when compared to our '07 4Runner. Lack of rear entertainment system was also a negative for everyone. In the end, we agreed that the Pilot was a better family vehicle, but the 4Runner was a better driver's vehicle...and seemed more durable than the Pilot.
Personally, I was really bummed...I had really hoped this was it. I really liked how the 4Runner drove, and was already plotting how I would get it off-road without her ever knowing it so I could try all the off-road techy goodies.
By the end of the day, she gave up on our budget target and decided to move up in price and get an Acura MDX with the rear entertainment system. We test drove one and that's all it took. That thing glides down the road, corners like my Audi, and accelerates nicely. Kids were wow'd by the backseat features (their own climate control system, rear entertainment system, and large cupholders).