I had that same problem when I had the H4 HID kit, that and my stock fogs for some reason wouldn't turn on anymore, I didn't really care so i never looked into it.
But when I was doing my projector retrofit and had to use a volt meter to check which was +12v and what was ground (had to since i used diodes on the high beam relay) on the 4runners H4 connector I noticed that whats known as the common pin (normally ground) became the + and the high beam wire became the ground for the high beams when the highs were switched on...So what im saying is I think if you just change the wire you are tapped into now from the high beam wire to the common pin wire I think your high beam fogs will work.
I think the common pin wire is the right socket/wire when viewed from the front of the H4 socket and the high beam wire is the left socket/wire.
As for the blue light not showing up on the instrument panel that might be because since nothings plugged into the socket anymore its not completing the circuit? im not sure but i would think that would be it.