i actually installed this kit yesterday (XD Xtreme HID w/ 4300K Phillips) and while many have installed without relays I found that I had to use a relay to get the passenger side to fire, even after switching polarity around. with the relay it lit just fine, so i ended up using both just for uniformity. the link below is a post i made yesterday in another HID install thread with some pics/description of the layout i ended up with.
http://www.toyota-4runner.org/2282682-post123.html
I ended up getting the same one as you actually. The xtreme with phillips. Ill have to check out your thread.