Another update:
After bypassing the ABS unit, replacing the rear brake line, and doing a few other tests, it turns out that my calipers were bad. I bought them from eBay. They were red and shiny. Anything red and shiny usually gets me in trouble. I went to O'Reilly Auto and bought their lifetime Tundra calipers. I told them it was for a 2005 Tundra 4x4 V8. Put them on, and they work GREAT!
My truck's brakes work again! And they're amazing... especially with the upgraded master cylinder.
Here's what POS ebay calipers look like after less than 18 months of use:
Hope this helps someone.