i personally think you should go with the complete toytech package ordered from them directly, they are billstein shocks which imo is the best ride on the 4runner, they are adjustable so you can raise or lower it to fit the tires you want or to bring it back down if it all feels too tippy for you at full height.
also order the diff drop (like $25) and pan hard bar $150-$200 to re-center your rear axle after the lift.
get the 1 inch body lift and some wheel spacers and go to teh tire shop and test fit some 35's and 33's with the spacers and see which one you like better.
really though i would not even really consider teh 35's and just start looking at 33's off the bat if i was you.
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here i'll lay it out even better for you
start here
Ultimate lift kit for 96-02 4Runner - Toytec Lifts: Toyota Lift Kits: FJ Cruiser Lift Kits, Tacoma Lift Kits, Tundra Lift Kits, 4 Runner Lift Kits, Sequoia Lift Kits, Toyota Truck Lift Kits
in the drop down menus pick the following
front coil options: 600lb normal coils or +20 for the same 600lb coils in silver, your choice, no difference but the color.
rear coil options: OME 890 3 inch lift normal load coils
rear shock options: billstein 5150 (or at the very least pick OME comfort ride, don't go with the rancho's)
this lift kit already includes the diff drop.^
then go to this site and order a trac bar/pan hard bar
4Runner - Fully Adjustable Trac/PanHard Bar (1996 to 2002) - $175.00 : Sonoran Steel, Sonoran Steel Custom Metal Fabrication L.L.C. Custom Toyota Truck Parts
find a local shop to install all of this, then head to a tire shop and snag some
tires...
to be warned you may need to pick up some wheel spacers on the way to get your tires as some tires will rub on the stock rims without them, you have a 50/50 chance of your tire of choice fitting with out the spacers unless you do your home work first and figure out which tire with which lift and what rims your running....that said you can always get some new rims as well and not even bother with the tire clearance issue, but that's another thing altogether.
back to the lift,
so if you get all of this on and it's still not tall enough to your liking go back and add a 1 inch body lift for an over-all visual gain of about 4.5+ inches or so, but i would hold off on that and pocket the cash until you decide that the 3.5+ inches isn't good enough, then add the body lift. i have a feeling that the kit above should be enough for you.
if i had to do it all over again and i had around $1500 that's how i would do it at least, asking on a forum like this what the best lift is is kind of like asking a group of kindergartners to figure out what the best color in the whole world is..good luck on that one.....i haven't heard any complaints about the lift i listed above and i complain about mine, and the lift i posted is the one i've personally been eye-balling for over a year now.
the only reason i feel comfortable with laying things out like this on something that is really a personal choice matter is that really you'd be pretty happy with either lift kit from toytech or SS steel (the make the panhard bar i suggested, also sell lifts as well) so there's really no wrong answer, and from having billstiens on all of my other rides and the old man emu OME shocks on my ride now, i personally will only run billsteins on my truck from now on out also from my personal experience on this forum i have heard of less people moaning about their billies(if they got ones for a 4runner) then their OME's but generally speaking both camps are happy with their shocks and fully support them and saying anything else is loking for a fight......to be honest i'm nervous is even making this statement that you should buy x and x and x as it is such a personal thing (ride quality) so make sure you read fully on both the toytech ultimate and the ss lift kits
linked to here
Toyota Lift Kits: Lift Kits, toyota, 4 Runner, 4 Runner Lift Kits
i hope this helps, i can't really do much more for you at this point, you just gotta read and choose, if you have any more questions i'd be happy to help, i just don't know at this point what else could be added.