I can shift from 4h to 4l while moving under 10 mph, and am in the 230k range with the electronic shifter. Sometimes it will want to grind, and I'll back off. Other times it will slip right in. I've found that if I keep a bit of pressure on the lever (but not enough to cause grinding), it will eventually mesh together, just like shifting a manual without using the clutch. Basically, once the input rpms match the transfer case output rpms, the gears mesh right together and there's no stopping required and nothing grinds. Same for disengaging.
But most of the time, I stop and put the transmission in neutral before shifting to or from low. I engage 4h while moving all the time though, and rarely engage it while sitting still.