If we are being honest here, a 1999 Toyota Land Cruiser is likely to have just as many maintenance issues and repairs as a 2006 BMW crossover...the only difference you will notice is that the Toyota's repairs and maintenance will cost at lot less (either in DIY or at a repair shop).
IMO OP, you and your wife really need to confirm what your vehicle priorities are.
The BMW crossover lineup (X3, X5) are very nice drivers on road, very comfortable and easy to live with.
A Toyota Land Cruiser (by comparison) is going to feel a lot more like a truck because, unlike the BMW, it actually is a truck. The upside is a more robust frame/chassis that is capable of taking a lot more abuse.
I'd say figure out what you want out of your vehicle and plan your purchase accordingly. FYI, BMW's really aren't known for being unreliable vehicles, and there are plenty of enthusiasts who buy them for the long term and maintain them...you just need to be willing to spend a little bit more $.