"Lifetime fluid" is nonsense. I predict the phrase will be the source of a class action lawsuit at some point in the next few years (when people whose transmissions fail at 200,000 miles due to burnt/dirty fluid start complaining that "Toyota told me it was lifetime fluid so I thought I never had to change it!"). In reality, they mean ~100k miles, although I heard Toyota is now saying that the WS should be changed every 60k, rather than every 100k (if true, what does that tell you about what they are finding with their WS fluid?).
The problem with fluid changes is that you pay for it now but get the benefit later. You could probably go 50,000 miles without changing the engine oil and not notice the difference, but you'll dramatically lessen the lifespan of the motor. Same principle applies for the other fluids. Given the fact that a transmission is a very expensive part, might as well spend the few hundred bucks every 60,000-70,000 miles to keep it properly maintained with fresh fluid and extend its lifespan. At worst, you spent $300 every five years on unnecessary transmission maintenance. At best, you saved yourself from having to pay $3,000 to replace/rebuild a tranny.
I flushed mine with Redline D4 ATF at 67k mi, and the fluid was black. The flush was kind of a pain, but it's doable. I added a tranny cooler at the same time, so I figured I'd do the flush as long as I was messing around with those lines anyway. I followed this diy:
DIY: Full Flush for Automatic Transmission - Tacoma World Forums
I have had zero problems with it since putting the new fluid in it. Shifts smooth as ever, and we even towed a 4300# trailer up to the mountains.
Make sure you have an accurate torque wrench and only torque the drain plug down to like 15-16 ft-lbs. Ask me how I know...