Who doesn't have kids?

[rn_trauma903]

No kids, never had any desire to have my own, although I did think about adoption from time to time, in passing. I was married but have been divorced for a long time. They are a lot of work and I'm happy for now to borrow my friends' and families' kiddos, then give them back when I'm done. I have a 70-lb four-legged Boxer who thinks he's a child, does that count?:wink2:

 

[KidVermicious]

I have a 70-lb four-legged Boxer who thinks he's a child, does that count?:wink2:

Nope.

Not unless you've got a Roth going to put it through college.

 

[1engineer]

A different perspective:

I have two children, a daughter who is 21, beautiful and will finish her undergrad in Nursing this May. She plans on getting her Masters while she is working, which will start right after graduation. She already has a job lined up. My son is 18 and a sophomore working towards a BSME. He is much smarter than I am and a gifted athlete. He plays college soccer and will be playing PDL this summer.

Yes, children are expensive if raised correctly. We will spend around 200K getting them both through 4 years of college. After that it's their dime lol. It's not the cost though that most important. It's the time. IMO, to be a good parent, you must commit every, single, spare, moment of every single day to being a parent. You must forgo all the things you think are fun right now and divert your full attention to raising that lifeform you created. It's not a job for everyone, although there are a lot of people having kids that should not. You need to be able to go without sleep, do disgusting tasks dealing with diapers, become a human troubleshooter for illness (hmmm, they just ate and they still are crying...why?) and basically just change your life. Sounds terrible.

Well, from that first moment in the hospital, you just started the longest project you will ever do, the hardest challenge you will ever complete and you will be tested like you never have before.
You want to climb Mt. Everest? Free dive 600 ft in the Indian Ocean? Sky dive? Hang Glide? Those are easy compared to raising a child correctly. Cheap too.

I have been working on my "projects" for 21 years and one of them is just about complete. When she goes completely on her own she will be a wonderful nurse, a good wife and above all a good person. I still have a few years to complete the other project but he is well on his way to being a good engineer who will probably design some amazing new device or we will watch him on ESPN playing soccer. We will see.

I guess what I am trying to say is not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Some would make great parents but choose not to and some, well let's just say they made the right decision.

I have travelled the world with my job. I have been in some of the worst places on six continents. I have designed some pretty amazing stuff over the years. I have raced motorcycles, raced bicycles, modded many vehicles, snow skied, water skied, bungee jumped and climbed mountains. Nothing I have ever done has been as hard, complicated, frustrating or expensive as raising two children with my wife. Nothing has ever been as fun, happy, satisfying, rewarding and amazing either.

I gave my daughter her first bottle 21 years ago. This summer I bought her a Margarita at the beach on her 21st birthday. Think about it.

 

[Tif]

I am a 28 year old female, and I've chosen to NOT have kids.

Let me explain..
When I was a kid myself I wanted nothing more than to be a Mother. I could not imagine my life feeling complete without a husband and a house full of children to love. I spent so much of my life so committed to that idea of perfection that I failed to see how beautiful my life could be without it. I struggled in high school and for several years after, because I felt like my life was going nowhere. Not because I didn't have a big career in some big city far from home, but because I felt like I couldn't be happy without a family of my own.
It took a lot of years of soul searching and a lot of faith in God's plan for my life to finally begin to realize that I could be happy without a bunch of kids.

I can finally say that I've reached a point in my life where I've found happiness, with just being me. I've realized that I don't have to have children to fulfill some ideal of a perfect life and I have to say it is very uplifting to finally realize that my happiness does not depend on anyone else or any circumstance.
I am blessed far beyond measure and I am pleased to say that it has nothing to do with my relationship/parental status.

Having said all of that, I feel like a can honestly say that having children no longer appeals to me. I do like kids and I love to spend time with my friends kids, but I don't want any of my own.

I feel like I also need to say: I am not married and if the man I am meant to be with wants children I am not completely opposed to the idea of reconsidering.
But it doesn't have a hold on me anymore. What is meant to be will be and if that means that kids are in my future then I'm ok with that but if kids are not in the cards for me then that's ok too.

Considering the shape the world is in now and how much worse it gets every day, I don't think bringing more children into it is a decision I'm willing to make. (Not saying that it is wrong to have kids, please do not misunderstand) I, personally, would much rather adopt a child and give it a better home than to allow a homeless, abused, or orphaned child to stay in the situation they are in just so that I can fulfill my own selfish desire to reproduce.

 

[bofa]

Wow.. I have to say I didn't expect this many responses with no kids and no plans for kids. Just amongst my circle of friends and family, the idea of not having kids is blasphemy. I appreciate the posts and it's good to know that I'm not crazy (well at least on this issue )

A different perspective:

Thanks 1E - I appreciate your perspective too. It sounds like you've done a wonderful job and have much to be thankful for.

 

[1engineer]

Wow.. I have to say I didn't expect this many responses with no kids and no plans for kids. Just amongst my circle of friends and family, the idea of not having kids is blasphemy. I appreciate the posts and it's good to know that I'm not crazy (well at least on this issue )



Thanks 1E - I appreciate your perspective too. It sounds like you've done a wonderful job and have much to be thankful for.

Yeah, people shouldn't justify having kids or NOT having kids. For someone to say they are having kids for "legacy" or "my wife wanted them" is not right. Neither is someone saying they won't have kids because of "Cost" or "lack of freedom" or any other reason. People should choose a path because that's what they are meant to do. I was meant to be a Dad among other things. Some people are meant to do something else. Simple.

Now, I will tell you this: When the chips are down, all the trips, travels, toys, money, hobbies and goals you have accomplished will not matter one bit. Three things will:
Your God
Your Immediate Family
Your Best Friends
That is all.

 

[bofa]

Yeah, people shouldn't justify having kids or NOT having kids. For someone to say they are having kids for "legacy" or "my wife wanted them" is not right. Neither is someone saying they won't have kids because of "Cost" or "lack of freedom" or any other reason. People should choose a path because that's what they are meant to do. I was meant to be a Dad among other things. Some people are meant to do something else. Simple.

Now, I will tell you this: When the chips are down, all the trips, travels, toys, money, hobbies and goals you have accomplished will not matter one bit. Three things will:
Your God
Your Immediate Family
Your Best Friends
That is all.

Well, I think we all have to justify it one way or another. And to be honest, I think the world would be a much better place if so many people didn't just wing it. I think if people realize that they aren't willing to give up that freedom or expense then the responsible thing is to make the decision not to bring children into the world. Likewise, ideally anyone making the decision to have kids is considering their financial position and what quality of life they can provide.

From what I've experienced, the majority of people have kids because they believe they are supposed to, it's an accident, they go without birth control just to see what will happen (love that one), have another because they already had one (I call this the second puppy excuse), or they are hoping it with strengthen their relationship or provide a new outlet. None of these reasons are appealing to me personally. This may be overly pessimistic as there are plenty of good parents out there that have had kids under these pretenses... and they eventually come around.

Unfortunately for some of us, the only chips we have are the ones we brought to the table.

 

[MStudt]

No kids now, and never in the future. I'm planning on getting a vasectomy the make sure it doesn't happen. The wife and I are both on the same page, and neither one of us want kids. I actually think it's not that we don't want kids, we just don't want a baby. Give me a kid that's been potty trained, knows how to sit, shake, stay, and swim then we might have a deal.

For us, we're so active and don't want anything to stand in our way. We're both pretty selfish when it comes to our activities, and it's hard enough to find someone to watch our dogs.

 

[ALBPM]

I wanted to when I was married the first time. But, that marriage didn't last long and as mean as the first wife was I am glad it didn't happen.

I was 40 the second time around and didn't want any children by then. My second wife is a Mid-School teacer and doesn't want to see any kids after 3:30...LOL!!! So, I took the responsibility and had a vasectomy.

So, do i like Kids...??? Yes, I like them medium rare..:hungry:

 

[MStudt]

vasectomy.

Not trying to hijack the thread.

Was it painful during or after? I'm planning on doing this in the next month or so and have read tons of mixed reviews about the comfort level.

 

[bofa]

Not trying to hijack the thread.

Was it painful during or after? I'm planning on doing this in the next month or so and have read tons of mixed reviews about the comfort level.

My brother-in-law had a laser vasectomy done recently and said it wasn't very painful at all and recovered within a day. A friend's husband had a surgical vasectomy a few years ago and was struggling for a few days.

 

[Hulley]

Not trying to hijack the thread.

Was it painful during or after? I'm planning on doing this in the next month or so and have read tons of mixed reviews about the comfort level.

Not as painful as hearing your wife say "hey look, its blue!"

 

[CXS]

All I'll add is that if you don't want kids please don't have any!

 

[cbielat]

I don't have any...that I know of...

 

[Bigrupp]

I don't have kids.....for a couple more weeks. Got one on the way and I'm so stoked I can hardly stand it. We waited. We are both 35 and have had our fun. When I was in school the plan was graduate and then wait two years, but that stretched out to eight years. We bought a nice house to settle down in and do the family thing. I would say that we waited until we were ready, but that would be a lie. Nobody is ever really ready. I guess we'll see how ready in a couple weeks- if the wife makes it that long.

 

[bofa]

I don't have kids.....for a couple more weeks. Got one on the way and I'm so stoked I can hardly stand it. We waited. We are both 35 and have had our fun. When I was in school the plan was graduate and then wait two years, but that stretched out to eight years. We bought a nice house to settle down in and do the family thing. I would say that we waited until we were ready, but that would be a lie. Nobody is ever really ready. I guess we'll see how ready in a couple weeks- if the wife makes it that long.

Congrats! If (big if) we go that route, our timeline will probably be similar. Good luck!

 

[Bigrupp]

Congrats! If (big if) we go that route, our timeline will probably be similar. Good luck!

Thank you, and should you decide to go down that road- Good luck to you too!

 

[02-Sport]

Anyone not wanting kids is there decision and I respect that 100%. I would never bad mouth anyone for not wanting kids.
I'm 42 and been married 20 years to the most amazing woman! We have a 18 yr old and 12 yr old triplets. It has been a journey and let me tell you, it was tough at times when they were babies and keeps getting more expensive the older they get. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
I can't imagine life without them.

 

[WFO_Racer]

Never considered having kids, now I have 2 boys. My youngest has the nickname Baby Sniper, loves math, loves the math in making 1,000 meter shots.

Both are into mixed martial arts and little bad asses. We are all into the same fun things.
But I have a wife who does a huge chunk of the not fun kid crap.

But I hate other peoples kid.

My take on it, can't feed them don't breed them.

Many of my buds choose to not have kids.

 

[Net4n6]

Well, from that first moment in the hospital, you just started the longest project you will ever do, the hardest challenge you will ever complete and you will be tested like you never have before.
You want to climb Mt. Everest? Free dive 600 ft in the Indian Ocean? Sky dive? Hang Glide? Those are easy compared to raising a child correctly. Cheap too.

I gave my daughter her first bottle 21 years ago. This summer I bought her a Margarita at the beach on her 21st birthday. Think about it.

Well said...
I tried to give 10 "likes" on your post but it only allowed me to give one "like".

I have two sons (15 and 13). For the last 15 years, I always kissed them on the head (while they sleep) or hug them (when they awake) before I went to work. I NEVER missed one time. That's the record I am proud the most and I am working on keeping that record for 18 yrs. I gave myself an "exception" for my record is that when I am travel out of town for work.