Thanks for all of the feedback. We wont be doing a lot of off roading, but we do quite a bit of camping and plan to do more, further a field now the kids are getting older, so probably the most would be fire roads etc, but I was a boy scout so like to be prepared

. Also given it seems to be about a $2000 item to swap the wheels and tires after the fact, I figured if it was done when we purchased, the cost may be reduced.
We currently own an Audi A4 quatro and the closest we came to a 4x4 SUV was a Honda Pilot 4x4, which we sold because it felt like a boat to drive. We have rented a 4runner 5th gen LE for a weekend camping trip and liked the fairly firm ride and the obvious truck feel, the pilot always felt like it didn't know if it was a car or a truck. But the LE we rented had 20" rims, so was wondering how different the ride would be on 17" rims.
Thanks again for the feedback, I'm still undecided, if I can get the dealer to swap the rims at no cost I'll probably go with the 17". We have a while before purchase, just getting my ducks in a row.
Cheers
Jonathan