Front and rear differentials take synthetic 75w90 gear oil available anywhere.
I just changed my rear diff lube a couple days ago for my 50k mile service. I used Amsoil Severe Gear lube.
I had changed it at 20k miles and it had some sparkles in the used fluid. This time it was fairly clean, but a little darker in color than fresh fluid.
I seldom engage the front diff so I dipped a finger in the fill hole and found it still real clean, so I did not change it.
Same with the transfer case, still very clean at 50k miles. However I did order some of the correct Toyota 75w transfer case lube and have it on hand for the day when I decide to change it. It is p/n 08885-81080.
As for the transmission, from what I have researched, it can go 100k miles until service is required and the service that is required is simply "checking" the fluid. But I have no idea how they do it.
I plan on having it changed when it gets to 100k miles in another year and a half or so.