Koz, are you trying to say that Toyota gave us jacks that don't extend far enough to lift our vehicle's tires off the ground enough to change a flat tire? That sounds crazy to me. My bottle jack extends far enough to lift my tires way off the ground. Now if your 4Runner is straddling a ditch or something, you might have a problem, but never on flat level ground.
And besides, if you put the jack under the lower control arms, you'll lift the wheel/tire without allowing the suspension to droop. I guess you can say it's just a matter of knowing where to put the jack to be the most effective.