You bring up 2 issues: performance and comfort.
One of which you can, and will, get used to. As discussed here interminably, the 4R will go like stink, but you gotta punch it. I'm quite used to it, and actually like it.
Now ... comfort. Noone can assuage you on this one. As [MENTION=66316]1engineer[/MENTION] always says; test drive X 3. Get in a model with the electric seats, makes all the difference to my back.
Drive them all! I drove the SR5, the Trail (both premium), and the Limited. The only configuration I couldn't drive was the one that I was most interested in and ended up with, Trail with KDSS. The Trail and SR5 drove the same, and both more comfortable in ride than the Limited. I blame the stupid 20" rims with low profile tires for the rougher ride. However those shorter sidewalls made turning and handling feel better, although the X-REAS may have something to do with that as well. Now the Trail Premium with KDSS is a world apart from the rest, having the smoothest ride of any 4Runner. Several reviewers have picked up on this fact too, although I can't find them at this point. The KDSS is invaluable to absorbing the potholes, rough road, or whatever hazards a daily drive can present. The X-REAS on the limited works in a similar manner, but is designed more for anti-roll than it is for allowing for extra wheel travel. Whether or not that system works as well as KDSS with the smaller 17" wheels and more sidewall the Trail is surely somewhere else in this forum. Where the X-REAS performance is designed to cope with road conditions, I don't think it would fair too well off road. KDSS was designed from the start for off road wheel travel. If you're serious about a 4Runner, look very hard at these two systems and figure which works for you.
Someone else mentioned we're not driving sports cars, and that's very true. But for what we are driving I honestly expected a little better get up and go. It does go very well when you put your foot into it, but it has to get above 2500rpm before it starts to go. But since the redline is around 6000rpm it's got plenty of room in the powerband, although with that 5 speed transmission you need it spending more time in each gear. But better 5 real gears than a CVT right?!
Ignore the reviews from most places which rate the 4Runner poorly, those people are used to reviewing all manner of vehicles. Hence they fault the 4Runner for what it is, a body on frame truck based SUV. They don't produce the same ride and comfort of the unibody crossovers, and those don't handle what the 4Runner can do better. The 4Runner seems to make no apologies for what it is, a rough and rugged SUV. The engine and transmission are dated, but that means there's established reliability. There's also parts available and you're not stuck with a powertrain that hasn't had all of the bugs worked out of it yet. For this I'm happy with the 4Runner and it's tried and true history. For this you trade off a few mpg's. Be realistic, you don't buy a 4Runner for the mpg's, and if that's your deciding factor on a vehicle then you're in the wrong market.
Here's where I jump ship from the forum crowd and diss on the TRD Pro version which is an over-promoted Trail premium sans sunroof. Sure the armor plating is thicker, it's a little better (more aggressive) looking, but this comes at a premium price and very limited availability. If you're planning on modding it all anyway, why pay more for things that you may remove? And who really buys a TRD Pro and leaves it factory? You can do the same to a Trail Premium, and since you got it for less money, now have more money to spend on mods.
At the end of the day, if you're not sure this is the truck for you, then it's probably not. I bought it because I liked the odd looks, good reviews, established history, Toyota brand, and I just couldn't see myself in an Outback for the next 4+ years of my life. I'm a fan of simple things that work, and not so much of all the computerized "features." I actually laughed at a salesman for trying to convince me to buy the Limited with all of it's computerized options after I had specifically been asking for the Trail they didn't have in stock. When you're spending $38+k on something, it had very well be what you want!