Has anyone noticed that Jeep is starting to sell "modded" jeeps straight from the dealer? I don't know if it's across the country but the one I drive by every day (Danvers, MA) has about 7-10 up front on the lot with a lift, big nobby tires, black wheels, winch, etc.
just went to their website and copied down a picture to show you what I mean. This orange one is a 2012 listed at over $40k!
Surfandturfer, I'm not sure if you already have the 4runner but if you don't this might be one avenue to go for you. Much less hassle and you could see what it's going to look like completed before you purchase.
My opinion on this is I would recommend a 2" lift, larger tires, a roof rack and a couple hella type lights on your grill. I would wait on putting on a new bumber. That's a pretty significant modification to your vehicle that is really only needed if you're going to be wheeling and drastically changes the look of your vehicle. If down the line you or your wife/gf want to sell your vehicle you're going to have a much more difficult time, you can always take off the rack, put smaller tires back on etc.
Good luck.