so i went back and started double checking everything, i mean everything, i was pulling wires(gently but firmly), and physically checking every terminal and connector, taking it apart and wire brushing it, then adding dielectric grease to it and putting it back together, then test again for each part/connection, got to the alternator, and boom, the power wire coming off the alt was the issue, good a tight, but bad connection...
im gonna guess this was my issue all along, the starter contacts did not look bad at all, i mean there was wear, but much less than ones ive seen on here. and the head parts guy at the dealer i use(he knows his stuff, and been working on cars many years -has a built supra and has been on race teams ect) said he figured i only had 40-50k mi on my starter contacts, well i know i got at least 60k, so that tells me they didnt look bad to him either. so im guessing i didnt have bad starter contacts at all, it was just the alt contact that was bad. but i got a fresh starter out of the deal.