Well, I went and test drove a 5th gen this morning

[jwkilgore]

Yep I bet! That is a common misconception though. People forget that both vehicles absorb the kinetic energy. Now, if you hit a vehicle that has a much higher mass (18 wheeler let's say) then you will have a bad day.

Yep, even tested on Mythbusters. Because both vehicles absorb damage roughly equally (each receiving 40mph worth of damage) it's the same as hitting a solid wall at the same speed. Hitting a similar-mass stationary vehicle would be the same as hitting a solid wall at half speed for the same reason (each vehicle absorbs half damage, or 20mph).

Back on topic, everybody's priorities are different. I have a family with kids so safety features and reliability are more critical. If I were in the OP's place I would go for the newer vehicle, especially since my wife is the primary driver of the 4Runner.

Single, or married with no kids and it's driven by a guy who can do basic maintenance? Then keep the 3rd Gen as long as it meets his needs. Bank the equal of the 5th Gen's payments every month and pay cash when you finally decide to upgrade.

Ultimately, though it's up to the OP to decide where his priorities are. And whatever decision he makes, no one here can fault him because they don't know his situation.